Confessions of a Sex Coach (video 4)

If you didn't get a chance to watch and read the last episode I recommend doing that first.  Heck, if you haven't seen episodes 1 through 3 go back and do that! ;-) 

In today's confession, I am sharing where I'm at currently and why.  This may appear contrary to the last episode, but it's not.  All things are connected.

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The American culture doesn't value self-care as highly as it does "work".  In fact, when we think of self-care we tend to think of vacations and massages and the like. It may help, therefore, to language this in a different way...a way our Americanized brains won't judge as some sort of reward for having done the "real work".  Be assured, what I speak of is most certainly WORK.

Try this:

  • Self work
  • Inner work
  • Primary work
  • Personal work
  • Personal development

What would YOU call it?  Come up with something that your thinking can assimilate in a positive and empowering way.

I imagine we will eventually evolve to value this kind of "work" like we have fitness. Fitness wasn't immensely popular and cool and a part of most people's routines a few decades ago.  But look how hot and sexy it is now.  

Oh, and guess what?  It's a form of self-care.

The point is, to be the very best version of myself and to manifest the Big, Bold, Badass vision I have requires some inner work and self-care.

I have taken the time since last Friday to focus my energy on the messages and their meanings that come from being still and silent.  Interestingly, this is all occurring as Venus goes Retrograde. (actually, it's not interesting to me at all since I am super sensitive to planetary happenings)

Side note: Over the last week, in this introspective, receptive space I have had more clients than the previous 3 weeks combined.  

In the last confession, I talked about sales and revenue and building a business.  I indicated that these have been challenging for me and that to become fluent in that language would require me to grow and "Step into the shoes of the Warrior archetype".  

The Warrior is someone who goes after what she wants, who controls and commands to achieve her goals.  The energy is very much an effort-filled one.  The Warrior sees the world (or their respective industry) as a place to conquer.  Many business moguls are this archetype.

By contrast, the Lover archetype will allow the Universe to provide for her.  She is always receptive and engages the present moment as a unique gift.  She, by virtue of her inviting nature, is the ultimate host for intimate gatherings...of people, of ideas, of energy and resources.  Many healers are Lovers, archetypically speaking.

I've been pursuing a theory that we each have all four fundamental archetypes within us.  They take up residence in a specific order.  Primary, secondary, tertiary, quaternary.

As a reminder the 4 types are:

  1. Lover
  2. Warrior
  3. Mystic/Magician
  4. Queen/King

And there are many, many others that are extension of these, of course.

In my theory, the FULLEST expression of our individual human being-ness comes from activating all 4 archetypes.  This means that we must develop the qualities within ourselves that don't necessarily come easy.  

That's the inner work.

I know I can sit back and let the Lover do her thang, healing and live a lovely life of ease and grace.  

AND I have a massive vision that needs the Warrior in me to step up.

I've been driven by the notion that the way I am to serve the planet is by ushering in a new-found awareness for the importance of intimacy and connection among people -- starting with the individual and primary relationships. (I mean seriously, am I the LOVER or what!?! lol) 

I see sex as a vehicle (among other things) for full self-expression.  It can be a joy-filled, pleasure-rich, magical, transformational experience IF we allow ourselves to SEE it as such. (click to tweet!)

I can envision this way of being with sex facilitating healing on a primal level.

I see this healing not only our bodies...and there are SO MANY OF US dealing with illness, pain, and suffering...but our minds, hearts, and souls as well. Which is precisely what the world needs.  BADLY.

The problem is we don't SEE ourselves as connected to one another or nature and her inhabitants. A glaring example is the killing of Cecil the lion and other trophy hunts like it.

It is possible that this ugly experience had to occur for us to start to see ourselves and the world around us differently.

Think about it, 15 years ago there was no Facebook so something like what we're witnessing now could have (and certainly did) happen without any global awareness and impact.  The internet, as a unifying tool, has created a massive-scale awareness for the blatant disregard for life.  So we can come together and correct the injustice, if we choose.

If we were truly evolved people, however, we wouldn't shame and destroy these offenders.  We would come together to help heal them. What torment must they possess in their minds, hearts, and souls to consciously choose to murder animals for sport?

I do understand the destruction from shame can be a catalyst for healing and self-discovery.  Just like illness can be what causes someone to awaken to a more purposeful and conscious way of life. So maybe there's actually good and purpose in all the disease our planet is enduring?

We can only change how we're being if we do the inner work and choose to SEE the symbolism in the pain and suffering.

Drugs and surgery and shame and destruction.  These are not the answers.

While we are getting closer to healing, we sure as hell are taking our time to evolve. Inner work, intimacy with the Self, connection and the on-going experience of love for self and others and the world around us...  

These are the answers.

I know this has been a hodge-podge of a blog post so thank you for taking the time out of your beautiful life to hear me.  

I'll tie it all together by saying this:

I am the Lover and I'm here to usher in greater awareness of the importance of love, intimacy, and connection -- on whatever scale I can manage.  I am in the process of developing my skills as the Warrior to be BIG in the world and spread the message far and wide (conquering some hate and fear along the way!)...

AND I NEED YOUR HELP.

My Big, Bold, Badass request is that YOU do your own inner work (aka self-care) and seek to know your greatest gifts.  

I am here to support you and be the "side-kick to your SUPER HERO" if you want me to.

With bigtime graciousness, 

Colette.