Problems with PME?

GUYS- If you're challenged with PME then stop FUCKING your partner!

Tantra is not going to teach you some technique to fuck her longer. 
Tantra is about CONSCIOUS CONNECTION to yourself and your lover (And really, all of life). So if you want the act of sex to last longer then explore it as a vehicle for your mutual pleasure, connection, and expansion.

Tantra is a way of BEING that includes sexual self expression.

 

I know the media (ok, porn) has done a bang-up job of brainwashing you into thinking the longer and harder you can fuck, the better lover you are. WRONG!

What makes a masterful lover is your ability to be fully present, to enter into the encounter WITHOUT expectations but with genuine curiosity for what will bring you both pleasure at that particular time, along with patience, interest and intrigue in your bodies, and a willingness to be vulnerable at times and commanding at others.

Plus, sex is WAY MORE than just penetration. The word, "foreplay" is a joke if you ask me. Don't think of massage or oral or petting or making out or the use of toys as just the opening act that leads up to the main event. MIX IT UP. Enjoy all these things at random. OF COURSE she's going to be disappointed if all that goes down is a minute-long make out followed by you entering her and orgasming before she even gets her head in the game. Women tend to require a ramp up period to get fully aroused. Just because you can get erect in a moment's notice and blow your load lickety-split doesn't mean jack -- DO NOT relate your "sexual arousal and pleasure process" to a woman's. You will only mind-fuck yourself if you do.

And if you feel you are already doing this and you still come right away...then HAVE MORE SEX that way your body isn't over excited at the idea of her vagina enveloping your penis.

BOTTOM LINE is sex is a PART OF WHO YOU ARE (the very CORE ESSENCE, in fact) and expressing this aspect of yourself can be big-time pleasurable and fun and spiritually awakening even. If it's not, I promise it's not because you need to learn some new technique to last longer.

Want to actually LEARN how to be, do, and have what I just talked about? Call me. I teach tantra. Couples and women welcome, too. (and NO, I don't have sex with students...duh.)

P.S.  I get so many calls from men wanting a "quick fix" for this issue and they think tantra is going to give them the magic technique to keep fucking longer. When I share that my Tantra Program is 3 months long and is actually a spirituality-based personal growth and development program and that we don't have sex of any kind together they say "oh. ok thanks." and hang up. I KNOW men (and women) are not getting the level of satisfaction they want from sex. It's because we have all been taught THE WRONG THINGS about it. And yet we are ultimately driven by the deep desire to CONNECT intimately...so how about we LEARN HOW to do that in a way that actually serves us?


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colette davenport

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

Couples Tantra

Over the years, I have had the great honor to work with loving couples who want to AMPLOVEFY their sensual physical~spiritual connection.  The following is a recap of how one particular program originated for a very cool couple-client.

Normally, when coaching couples, I work with one person at a time, creating a safe and judgement-free space for that person's exploration and expression of their wondrous body, mind, and spirit.  They then have a monthly joint session to weave together their learning and growth.  In the case of this couple, however, the intention remained the same but the energy was more playful and so they chose to dive into Tantra.  

The intimacy, sensuality, and connection was already present between these two partners, and they were prepared to explore and express TOGETHER, evolving their bond.

After a consultation to get clear about where each partner was at that moment, and where they wanted to go jointly, we stepped into the Sanctuary.  To bring ease and fluidity into the body we moved through a few couples yoga postures before a guided meditation.  The meditation took the couple through the Chakras, or energy centers within the body, and was also a conscious breathing exercise.  After creating a foundation for connection and "Feeling rather than Thinking", we shifted into sensual full body massage.

He was the first recipient.  Together she and I gave  him a loving, compassionate, slow, mindful massage working from head to toe.  Teaching someone the art of sensual massage was extremely rewarding for me.  Additionally, the openess and acceptance this couple expressed to one another is truly inspiring!  When he was well tended to, the couple switched giver and receiver so that he and I could spread the love-treatment over her body next.  I think she may have mentioned that his skills improved in that mini-massage coaching session.  Gentlemen take note!  Ladies LOVE a skilled sensual massage from their lover!!

The loving energy was quite palpable so I slipped out of the Sanctuary and allowed the couple to complete their time together how they saw fit.

This was as much a rewarding experience for me as I believe it was for the beautiful couple.  Clearly, what there is to do for me now is develop more around this type of session...maybe a program?...in the near future. (AND THIS IS HOW TANTRIC 6 WAS BORN)

And so here's a "heads-up" to all my marvelous male clients: Imagine how glorious it could be if you and your wife/girlfriend had the skill and the mind-set to give each other a FULL BODY SENSUAL MASSAGE at home!

Hmmmm....Sensual Touch Training Program?

Is Tantra something you're curious about but feel like it might be too "woo woo"?  I used to feel the same way!  So in response, I have translated the ancient wisdom and practices into a modern-day language and application the the most UNhippie person can benefit from.  Call 512-491-9774 for a convo with me about it!

XOXO, cd

P.S.  After several sessions with this couple I received the touching comments below.

My wife and I started our journey with you over a year ago, and it has been one of the most rewarding experiences of our lives. We were not sure what we would be in for, and have been truly blessed to have met you and have you in our lives. It was scary to allow someone into our intimate space, but you are now one with us spiritually… and for that we are forever intertwined with you. You are truly a blessing to our lives and hope that in some way we have been the same for you.We are extremely excited about where your future leads you, and know that we are better for having met and had this experience of growth with you. -- J & N

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colette davenport

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

5 Things I Learned About Sex from Working with 272 Men and 4 Women Last Year

1. Men are actively seeking to improve themselves as sexual beings.  You might think women are all about personal growth and development and for the most part you’d be right.  But when it comes to sex, men are hungry to explore and expand their knowledge and skills.  I have the privilege of being one of the first responders when men decide it’s time to evolve their capacity as sexual beings.  

Of course, that’s not how most of my clients phrase it at first.  The more common statement I hear is one related to “lasting longer” or “being better at sex”.  As we explore the motivations for each person in their specific circumstance, the overwhelming majority of men get to the core of the matter and reveal the REAL driving force as something like “a deep longing to connect openly and freely with their partner”. In other words, they want intimacy.  Intimacy is a common component in personal growth.  It’s what allows us to truly be seen and heard by others.  

Tweet: Sexual intimacy is one of the most profound ways we get to experience being fully seen, acknowledged, and accepted by another human being.

Sexual intimacy is one of the most profound ways we get to experience being fully seen, acknowledged, and accepted by another human being.    

We are literally naked, that is, physically.  And when we match that nakedness with emotional and spiritual vulnerability something otherworldly occurs.  We experience a timeless Ego-less presence to the miraculous being-ness that we truly are.  Pretty cool.  I suspect THAT’S the undercover culprit of men’s desire to improve themselves sexually.  The rampant push to perform better is merely modern day cloak concealing a Universal truth -- we seek intimate connection.

2. Men find it difficult to speak to their wives about their sexual appetites or perceived lack of sexual abilities. When I inquire as to what keeps them from opening up or being vulnerable my clients reveal reasons ranging from fear and insecurity to not knowing how to talk about it.  Sometimes  they’ve been judged so harshly they have almost completely shut down the masculine sexual energy, or consciousness, that longs to be expressed.  (btw, women have masculine sexual energy, too)  

When it comes to being intimate and vulnerable, we are required to “take off the mask” of the Ego.  But the Ego fights to keep itself intact.  After all, it’s this contrived character that we identify with and so if we relinquish that sense of ourselves, who are we?  Great question.  But it’s one we perceive as so immense and existential that we shy away from it.  Who has the time or bandwidth to solve such a riddle?  

In today’s culture we rely on celebrities and magazines and corporate, government, and religious officials to tell us who we are.  The problem with that is they are all in the business of manufacturing the truth (to maintain status quo) rather than revealing it.  

So at best, we’re mindlessly following false images and at worst we’re being manipulated into being disconnected, dissatisfied and diseased.  

This is especially true when it comes to sex.  When men are “told” who they are supposed to be (at work, in society, or in the bedroom) they develop a relentless pursuit of accomplishing that in order to live up to who they think they should be.  The trap being it’s a false image.  It ain’t the truth.  The reality is men and women alike are gifted with unique desires and a natural appetite for sexual self-expression.  

The contrived characters and manufactured false images suggest one thing and the masculine sexual energy (aka consciousness)  desires another.  Conflict ensues.  The result is men are uncertain or fearful of speaking to their wives about sex.  And I think it’s safe to draw the conclusion that this unfortunate challenge is true for women as well.

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3. Men crave compassionate loving non-sexual touch.  When presented with the offer to enhance coaching with relaxation practices (meditation, breath and energy work, and therapeutic massage), 96% of my clients opted to do so.  Why?  Because they’re stressed the fuck out.  Again, why?  Refer to number two above.  

We are all stressed out trying to live up to a manufactured ideal.  And for some, the concept of compassionate loving non-sexual touch is foreign.  The powers that be would have us all believe that human touch implies sexual intent and therefore a performance of some sort is required.  That just reinforces the mask of the Ego or the drive to differentiate ourselves from one another and the source of our being.  

It is a great privilege of mine to introduce people to a powerful healing and nurturing practice. This practice, when done with a crystal clear intention, can be very intimate and non-sexual.  As a bonus, I encourage my clients to share the practice with their sweetie...and see what depth of connection results.

4. Men and women could use an an advanced education in being human.  The sexual phenomenon I observe is this: People are dissatisfied and disconnected and, quite frankly, dis-eased because they think sex is an ACT to be measured and rated in terms of performance.  Collectively, there’s also a rampant belief that sex is all about certain body parts.  

How many people do you know, that when it comes to sex and sex appeal, compare body parts?  Guys will go on and on about being a boob- or butt- or leg-man.  And women talk about their satisfaction relative to the size of a man’s penis.  What’s with the superficiality?  Oh, right.  That’s what’s being sold to us via the media and those in “power” who’re making a buck off that shit.  

Here’s the deal, sex is NOT an act, it is not measurable, it’s most certainly not a performance AND it involves the entire HUMAN BEING (not just penis and vagina and couple other body parts).  The pervasive perspective creates a lot of frustrated and disengaged people.  How do I know?  Read the title of this article again.  

So what, then, is sex?  Sex, or more specifically, the sexual body is a part of who you are.  It contains both masculine and feminine energies.  It’s one of 5 bodies that make up the human being.  What are the other 4? I’ll save that for another day.  But rest assured, I am here to expose the truth!

5. Women are into Tantra.  OK, my sample is a little skewed but every woman I work with expresses a desire to experience more.  More of themselves, more of their partners, more intimacy, more pleasure, more fulfillment in their relationship and life.  That’s what Tantra has to offer.  

My personal mission is to amplify passion, pleasure, and play in the bedrooms of people everywhere by supporting integrity, harmony, and vitality in each of us.  Coaching, teaching tantra and writing about sex and relationships are my tools.  Although my practice thus far has been built by men seeking to overcome challenges pertaining to masculine sexual energy I believe feminine energy (aka REAL power) will restore the harmony that they and our culture long for.  When understood, sexual energy has the potential to create sustainable joy, connection, abundance, and ecstasy.  And not just sexually.  If we have the power to create NEW LIFE unconsciously, imagine what we can create when we are conscious and responsible and are no longer slaves to false images and contrived characters.

What do you think?  Leave a comment below and let us know!  

Want a private one-on-one conversation with Colette?  CLICK HERE to apply for a complimentary 45-minute Clarify & Connect call today!




 

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colette davenport

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

Ladies Only: Bringing Tantra Into The Bedroom

By Jamie Beckman on SheKnows.com

Reignite Your Love Connection with Tantra

To get to the heart of what tantric sex actually means, we caught up with Mark Michaels and Patricia Johnson, authors of Great Sex Made Simple: Tantric Tips to Deepen Intimacy and Heighten Pleasure, who schooled us in the ways of the tantra — and how regular women (yep, that's you!) can get the most out of their sex lives using tantric techniques.

How Sting got it wrong

If you take away nothing else from this story, remember that the 5,000-year-old Eastern spiritual practice of tantric sex does not mean that you have to make love for hours. Instead, enlightenment and having a reverence for your partner that lasts beyond the length of any orgasm is at the core of the teachings, Michaels and Johnson say.

"It's funny that a comment Sting made over 20 years ago still has an enduring hold on the public's imagination," the couple says. "He's tried to explain it away or recant it in various ways. At one point, he said that he regretted making the statement and didn't really feel he could talk about the subject beyond saying that his wife, Trudy, is his church. That's much closer to what the spirit of tantric sex is all about."

"In the classical sexual ritual, the participants worship each other as embodiments of deities. We encourage people to bring an attitude of reverence into their lovemaking and to all their interactions. The tantric approach has far more to do with your mental approach than with technique. It's certainly got nothing to do with bragging about staying power."

But in tantric sex, you can feel pleasure longer...

"That said, prolonged lovemaking is part of the tradition," Michaels and Johnson say. "The tantrics of old recognized that orgasm can be a mystical experience, often the most readily accessible mystical experience of all. During orgasm, the mind goes quiet, and you may feel a sense of merger — be it with a partner or even with all that is.

For most of us, the transcendent potential in sex is something that's experienced only briefly, during the orgasm itself. If you extend arousal and focus on building it (this need not include genital intercourse), you may start to feel this sense of union well before you have an orgasm, and it is likely to last far longer than it would in more conventional lovemaking. So making it last is a means to an end, not an end in itself. If you can stay turned on for a half hour or so, you're likely to experience the altered state of consciousness we just described."

How to incorporate elements of tantric sex into your own bedroom: Header h3 with numbers to the side

Focus on your breathing and your (and your partner's) reaction to touch

"It's fairly common for people to check out during sex, to do things by rote and without a whole lot of reflection. Paying attention to what you're experiencing in your body, the way you are breathing and how your partner is responding are all very important," the couple says.

Give and receive — start with kisses

"To take this a step further, people tend to interact sexually based on a set of tacit understandings: Basically, I'll do you for a while, and then you can do me, and if we're lucky, we'll both have a good experience," Michaels and Johnson say.

"We encourage people to separate giving and receiving in a very methodical way. For example, it's great to experiment with giving and receiving kisses. Take a couple of minutes and allow your partner to kiss you and explore your mouth with his tongue. Then reverse roles. When you're kissing, see how fully you can give yourself over to the active role. When you're receiving, surrender to the experience completely."

Take 60 minutes and give each other a massage — but no sex yet!

"Set aside an hour or so to give and receive full body massages (culminating with genital stimulation but not intercourse). Do this on different days. As with the kissing exercise, the role of the giver is to give as fully as possible, and the role of the receiver is simply to receive. Taking this activity out of the realm of foreplay and keeping the roles clearly defined may help you discover new sources of pleasure, and may also give you new insights into the way you interact with your partner both in and out of bed."

Break a taboo by just talking about sex

"Many traditional tantric practices involved breaking cultural taboos, and there were many in medieval India," the couple says. "This was true both in the context of sexual ritual and more generally. In the simplest terms, the violation of these cultural norms had a liberating effect. Of course, we don't live in a society that has such clearly defined social rules, but we all have our own self-imposed limitations and our habitual ways of being, in lovemaking and more generally in life. If you can shed some of your inhibitions, you're likely to experience more pleasure. Talking frankly about sex is a big taboo for many, so for many, having frequent and explicit conversations about sex is a great first step."

Explore a personal sexual taboo together

"If you want to get a little bolder, you can identify a couple of personal taboos (you can also do this as a couple by identifying shared taboos), and then decide on one that you might be interested in breaking," Michaels and Johnson say. "Don't pick anything huge at first; it might just mean making love with the lights on or experimenting with light bondage, sensory deprivation or role-play. The purpose is to become more flexible and aware and to be less limited by preconceived ideas about yourself. Sometimes we deprive ourselves of a lot of pleasure by thinking, 'I'm not the kind of person who would enjoy that.'"

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colette davenport

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

Tantric Sex: A Step By Step How-To (part 1)

A superb article that will guide couples interested in the art of Tantric love-making.

(Originally posted on How Stuff Works)

Have you ever experienced a moment of sexual ecstasy? How did it make you feel? Exhilarated? Luminous? Deeply connected? Intense sexual experiences are one of our greatest sources of pleasure.

At the same time, sex is often regarded with an equal measure of fear and fascination. We may crave sexual intimacy to the core of our being, yet also take great pains to avoid it. We may wish to be touched with all of our heart, yet fear our own vulnerability. We may long to rekindle lost passion, but have forgotten how to light the fire.

The practice of Tantra shows us how to reclaim the sexual intimacy that is our birthright. And through this most ancient of arts, we may discover new joys of the erotic and expand mere moments of sexual ecstasy into a lifetime of sexual bliss. At a time when the stresses, fears and distractions of daily life threaten so many relationships, the age-old practice of Tantra shows us how to open our hearts, our emotions and our sexuality.

What Is Tantra?

Although Tantra has long been practiced in many eastern cultures, it is just beginning to flourish in the United States. Born in India more than 6,000 years ago, Tantra emerged as a rebellion against organized religion, which held that sexuality should be rejected in order to reach enlightenment.

Tantra challenged the acetic beliefs of that time, purporting that sexuality was a doorway to the divine, and that earthly pleasures, such as eating, dancing and creative expression were sacred acts.

The word Tantra means "to manifest, to expand, to show and to weave." In this context, sex is thought to expand consciousness and to weave together the polarities of male (represented by the Hindu god, Shiva), and female (embodied by the Hindu goddess, Shakti), into a harmonious whole.

Couples need not adopt the Tantric pantheon in order to benefit from the sexual wisdom of this ancient art. Tantric sexual practices teach us to prolong the act of making love and to utilize potent orgasmic energies more effectively.

Tantra is also health enhancing. "Sexual energy is one of our most powerful energies for creating health," says Christiane Northrup, M.D., author of "Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom."

"By using sexual energy consciously...we can tap into a true source of youth and vitality."

How Is Tantric Sex Unique?

In the West, we sometimes view sex as a source of recreation rather than a means of transformation. The goal may be to reach orgasm rather than to pleasure our lover or to connect with him or her more fully.

Beginning Tantric Sex Techniques

The usual kind of lovemaking, say sex experts, has a distinct beginning and ending, with a climax somewhere in between and an average duration of 10 to 15 minutes. Given that women can take about 20 minutes just to reach full arousal, this type of sexual experience can be deeply unsatisfying.

In the Tantric model, the sexual experience is seen as a dance with no beginning or end. There is no goal, only the present moment of exquisite union. For this reason, lovemaking is meditative, expressive and intimate. Tantra teaches lovers how to extend the peak of their sexual ecstasy so that women and men can experience several orgasms in a single sexual encounter.

Leading teachers of Tantra suggest that even men who experience premature ejaculation can learn how to extend orgasm, and, with practice, to enjoy multiple orgasms. One of the most well known advocates of Tantra is the musician, Sting, who credits his fulfilling sex life to this ancient art. With ingredients such as love, trust and mutual respect, the magic of Tantra is available to couples of all ages and levels of sexual experience.

The following exercises will help you reconnect with your body and with your partner in a profound way. As you move through these steps, do not focus on intercourse as the ultimate goal. Instead, simply enjoy giving and receiving pleasure using gentle touch and loving words.

Communicate with your lover to discover what he or she finds most arousing. Try to spend several weeks practicing the Tantric Intimacy Exercises without necessarily engaging in intercourse. For many, experiencing these erotic exercises with no pressure to "go all the way" helps release sexual guilt, builds trust and reawakens sexual desire. Enjoy!

Welcoming Love

Make time for each other every week. Plan a sexual rendezvous at least once per week. Set aside an hour or more of uninterrupted time to be together. Although it may be difficult to find the time or to manage children, you won't be able to benefit from Tantra if your relationship is not a priority.

Create an inviting atmosphere. Whether you meet in your bedroom, living room or another space in your house, creating a sacred space for each other will help relax you and bring you into the moment. Candles, fresh flowers, erotic art, finger foods and tantalizing aromas can transform any room into a temple of sexual delight. Even something as simple as dimming the lights and playing erotic music will help create a welcoming environment.

Dress provocatively. Or, wear nothing at all. Experiment with clothing or accessories that make you feel sexy and excite your partner.

Tantric Intimacy Exercises

Use ritual to develop intimacy. Begin your journey with a ritual. This may be something as simple as feeding each other delicious foods or sharing a glass of wine in the nude. Some couples enjoy bathing together in order to attune to each other.

Take time to wash each other with loving care. Water relaxes the body and is a symbol of sexuality. Massaging each other is also an excellent way to fuse your energies. Or, read poetry to each other, dance, play, listen to music—work on developing new intimacy skills. Most importantly, use this time tocommunicate,sharing what you adore about each other. The idea is to help each partner feel loved and cherished.

In order to fully focus on each other (rather than on the goal of sex), some lovers experiment with various intimate rituals for several weeks before moving on to the next steps or engaging in intercourse. This is a wonderful way to strengthen the bonds of love and ignite passion.

"The only time we ever think about breathing is when we have trouble doing it, yet conscious breathing can be a powerful aid in sexual growth," according to sex therapist Marty Klein, Ph.D. of Palo Alto, California. Breathing exercises also quiet the mind and help you focus on each other.

Try this exercise: Sit quietly, cross-legged, facing each other. Rest your hands on your knees with your palms facing up. As you gaze into your partner's eyes, take soft, but deep breaths. Keep your eyes open, gazing beyond the eyes, into the soul. Although this may feel awkward at first, sustained eye contact is essential for building intimacy.

Now, pay attention to your breathing. Begin to breathe at the same pace, bringing air slowly in through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. Maintain eye contact while you breathe together. Practice this exercise until you can sustain eye contact and harmonized breathing for about 10 minutes. Then, you may move into the next exercise.

Experiment with erotic touch to fully appreciate your partner. This most pleasurable practice will help you become better lovers. Although you should continue to maintain eye contact, don't worry about keeping your breath synchronized. Breath will come back into play later. Guide your partner as you take turns stimulating each other. Describe exactly how you would like to be touched.

Share your desires in an encouraging way, making requests in a clear and loving manner. For example, ask your lover to caress your clitoris or penis (or any erogenous zone), encouraging him or her to apply more or less pressure, to stroke in a specific pattern, to use the tongue, etc. Thank your lover and let him or her know with words or sounds that you are enjoying this sensual touch.

Once you become comfortable with this process, you may wish to create a "pleasure chest." Include whatever excites you and your partner—a feather, vibrator, massage oil, blindfold, soft fabric, erotica and loving notes to each other are just a few ideas. As you pleasure each other, don't be shy about asking for something different. This is your time for appreciation, experimentation and for taking responsibility for your own fulfillment by asking for what you want.

From here, you may wish to embark on your own erotic journey. Create amorous adventures together, exploring new and creative ways to awaken each other's bodies and minds. Then, you will be ready for Tantric lovemaking.


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colette davenport

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

Why Awaken Kundalini?

Everybody should know something about kundalini as it represents the coming consciousness of mankind. Kundalini is the name of a sleeping dormant potential force in the human organism and it is situated at the root of the spinal column. In the masculine body it is in the perineum, between the urinary and excretory organs. In the female body its location is at the root of the uterus, in the cervix. This center is known as mooladhara chakra and it is actually a physical structure. It is a small gland which you can even take out and press. However, kundalini is a dormant energy, and even if you press it, it will not explode like a bomb.

To awaken kundalini you must prepare yourself through yogic techniques. You must practise asanas, pranayanas, kriya yoga and meditation. Then, when you are able to force your prana into the seat of kundalini, the energy wakes up and makes its way through sushumna nadi, the central nervous canal, to the brain. As kundalini ascends, it passes through each of the chakras which are interconnected with the different silent areas of the brain. With the awakening of kundalini there is an explosion in the brain as the dormant or sleeping areas start blossoming like flowers. Therefore, kundalini can be equated with the awakening of the silent areas of the brain.

Although kundalini is said to reside in mooladhara chakra, we are all at different stages of evolution, and in some of us kundalini may have already reached swadhisthana, manipura or anahata chakra. If this is so, whatever sadhana you do now might start an awakening in anahata or some other chakra. However, awakening of kundalini in mooladhara chakra is one thing, and awakening in sahasrara, the highest center of the brain, is another.

Once the multipetalled lotus of sahasrara blossoms, a new consciousness dawns. Our present consciousness is not independent, as the mind depends on the information supplied by the senses. If you have no eyes, you can never see; if you are deaf, you will never hear. However, when the superconsciousness emerges, experience becomes completely independent and knowledge also becomes completely independent.



How man discovered Kundalini
Right from the beginning of creation, man witnessed many transcendental happenings. Sometimes he was able to read the thoughts of others, he witnessed somebody else’s predictions coming true, or he may even have seen his own dreams manifesting into realities. He pondered over the fact that some people could write inspiring poems or compose beautiful music whereas others couldn’t; one person could fight on the battlefield for days together and another person couldn’t even get up from his bed. So he wanted to discover why everybody seemed to be different.

In the course of his investigations, man came to understand that within every individual there is a special form of energy. He saw that in some people it was dormant, in others it was evolving and in a very small minority of people, it was actually awakened. Originally, man named this energy after gods, goddesses, angels or divinities. Then he discovered prana and called it prana shakti. In tantra they called it kundalini.



What the various names for Kundalini mean
In Sanskrit, Kundal means a coil, and so kundalini has been described as ‘that which is coiled’. This is the traditional belief; but it has been incorrectly understood. The word Kundalini actually comes from the word kunda, meaning ‘a deeper place, pit or cavity’. The fire used in the ceremony of initiation is kindled in a pit called kunda. Similarly, the place where a dead body is burned is kunda. If you dig a ditch or a hole it is called kunda. Kunda refers to the concave cavity in which the brain, resembling a coiled and sleeping serpent, nestles. (If you have the opportunity of examining a dissection of the human brain you will see that it is in the form of a coil or snake curled up upon itself.) This is the true meaning of kundalini.

The word kundalini refers to the shakti or power when it is in its dormant potential state, but when it is manifesting, you can call it Devi, Kali, Durga, Saraswati, Lakshmi or any other name according to the manifestation it is exhibiting before you.

In the Christian tradition, the terms ‘the Path of the Initiates’ and ‘the Stairway to Heaven’ used in the Bible, refer to kundalini’s ascent through sushumna nadi. The ascent of kundalini and ultimately, the descent of spiritual grace, are symbolized by the cross. This is why Christians make the sign of the cross at ajna, anahata and vishuddhi chakras, for ajna is the center where the ascending consciousness is transcended and anahata is where the descending grace is made manifest to the world.

Whatever happens in spiritual life, it is related to the awakening of kundalini. And the goal of every form of spiritual life, whether you call it samadhi, nirvana, moksha, communion, union, kaivalya, liberation or whatever, is in fact awakening of kundalini.



Kundalini, Kali and Durga
When kundalini has just awakened and you are not able to handle it, it is called Kali. When you can handle it and are able to use it for beneficial purposes and you become powerful on account of it, it is called Durga.

Kali is a female deity, naked, black or smoky in color, wearing a mala of 108 human skulls, representing the memories of different births. Kali’s lolling tongue of blood red color signifies the rajo guna whose circular movement gives impetus to all creative activities. By this specific gesture, she is exhorting the sadhakas to control their rajo guna. The sacrificial sword and the severed head, held by the left hand are the symbols of dissolution. Darkness and death are by no means the mere absence of light and life, rather, they are their origin. The sadhaka worships the cosmic power in its female form, for she represents the kinetic aspect, the masculine being the static which is activated only through her power.

In Hindu mythology, the awakening of Kali has been described in great detail When Kali rises in red anger, all the gods and demons are stunned and every body keeps quiet. They do not know what she is going to do. They ask Lord Shiva to pacify her, but Kali roars ferociously, throwing him down and standing on his chest with her mouth wide open, thirsty for flesh and blood. When the devas hold prayers to pacify Kali, she becomes calm and quiet.



Then there is the emergence of Durga, the higher, more refined and benign symbol of the unconscious. Durga is a beautiful goddess seated on a tiger. She has 8 hands representing the eightfold elements of man. Durga wears a mala of human heads to symbolize her wisdom and power. These heads are generally 52 in number, representing the 52 letters of the Sanskrit alphabet, which are the outer manifestations of Shabda Brahma or Brahma in the form of sound. Durga is the remover of all evil consequences of life and the giver of power and peace that is released from mooladhara.

According to yoga philosophy, Kali, the first manifestation of the unconscious kundalini is a terrible power; it completely subdues the individual soul, represented by her standing on Lord Shiva.

It sometimes happens that by mental instability, some people get in contact with their unconscious body and see inauspicious, ferocious elements— ghosts, monsters, etc. When Kali, the unconscious power of man, is awakened she goes up to meet the further manifestation, being Durga, the superconscious, bestowing glory and beauty.



Symbolic representation of Kundalini
In the tantric texts, kundalini is conceived of as the primal power or energy. In terms of modern psychology, it can be called the unconscious in man. As we have just discussed, in Hindu mythology, kundalini corresponds with the concept of Kali. In the philosophy of Shaivism, the concept of kundalini is represented by the shivalingam, the oval-shaped stone or pillar with a snake coiled around it.

However, most commonly, kundalini is illustrated as a sleeping serpent coiled three and a half times. Of course there is no serpent residing in mooladhara, sahasrara or any other chakra, but the serpent has always been a symbol for efficient consciousness. In all the oldest mystic cults of the world you find the serpent, and if you have seen any pictures or images of Lord Shiva, you will have noticed serpents girdling his waist, neck and arms. Kali is also adorned with serpents and Lord Vishnu eternally reposes on a large coiled serpent.

This serpent power symbolizes the unconscious in man. In Scandinavian, European, Latin American and Middle Eastern countries and many different civilizations of the world, the concept of the serpent power is represented in monuments and ancient artifacts. This means kundalini was known to people from all parts of the world in the past.

However, we can conceive kundalini in any manner we like because actually, prana has no form or dimension, it is infinite.

In the traditional descriptions of kundaljni awakening, it is said that kundalini resides in mooladhara in the form of a coiled snake and when the snake awakens it uncoils and shoots up through sushumna (the psychic passage in the center of the spinal cord), opening the other chakras as it goes. (See Sir John Woodroffe’s The Serpent Power.)

Brahmachari Swami Vyasdev, in his book Science of the Soul, describes the awakening of kundalini in the following way:

“Sadhakas have seen the sushumna in the form of a luminous rod or pillar, a golden yellow snake, or sometimes as a shining black snake about ten inches long with blood red eyes like smouldering charcoal, the front part of the tongue vibrating and shining like lightning, ascending the spinal column.”

The meaning of the coils of the serpent is as follows: The 3 coils represent the 3 matras of Om, which relate to past, present and future; to the gunas: tamas, rajas and sattva; to the 3 states of consciousness: waking, sleeping and dreaming; and to the types of experience: subjective experience, sensual experience and absence of experience. The 1/2 coil represents the state of transcendence, where there is neither waking, sleeping nor dreaming. So, the 3 1/2 coils signify the total experience of the universe and the experience of transcendence.

Art by Teddy G | View full collection


Who can awaken Kundalini?
There are many people who have awakened their kundalini. Not only saints and sadhus, but poets, painters, warriors, writers, anyone can awaken their kundalini. With the awakening of kundalini, not only visions of God take place, there is dawning of creative intelligence and an awakening of supramental faculties. By activating kundalini you may become anything in life.

The energy of kundalini is one energy, but it expresses itself differently through the individual psychic centers or chakras— first in gross instinctive ways and then in progressively more subtle ways. Refining of the expression of this energy at higher and more subtle levels of vibration represents the ascent of human consciousness to its highest possibilities.



Kundalini is the creative energy; it is the energy of self-expression. Just as in reproduction a new life is created, in the same way, someone like Einstein uses that same energy in a different, more subtle realm, to create a theory like relativity. It is the same energy that is expressed when someone composes or plays beautiful music. It is the same energy which is expressed in all parts of life, whether it is building up a business, fulfilling the family duties or reaching whatever goal you aspire for. These are all expressions of the same creative energy.

Everybody, whether householder or sannyasin, must remember that awakening of kundalini is the prime purpose of human incarnation. All the pleasures of sensual life which we are enjoying now are intended only to enhance the awakening of kundalini amidst the adverse circumstances of man’s life.



A process of metamorphosis
With the awakening of kundalini, a transformation takes place in life. It has little to do with one’s moral, religious or ethical life. It has more to do with the quality of our experiences and perceptions. When kundalini wakes up your mind changes and your priorities and attachments also change. All your karmas undergo a process of integration.

It is very simple to understand. When you were a child you loved toys, but why don’t you love them now? Because your mind has changed and consequently, your attachments have also changed. So, with the awakening of kundalini, a metamorphosis takes place. There is even the possibility of restructuring the entire physical body. When kundalini awakens, the physical body actually undergoes many changes.

Generally they are positive, but if your guru is not cautious, they can be negative also. When the shakti wakes up, the cells in the body are completely charged and a process of rejuvenation also starts. The voice changes, the smell of the body changes and the hormonal secretions also change. In fact, the transformation of cells in the body and brain takes place at a much higher rate than normal. These are just a few observations. However, scientific researchers are still taking their first steps into this field.



Why awaken Kundalini?
If you want to take up the practice of kundalini yoga, the most important thing is that you have a reason or an aim. If you want to awaken kundalini for psychic powers, then please go ahead with your own destiny. But if you want to awaken kundalini in order to enjoy communion between Shiva and Shakti, the actual communion between the two great forces within you, and if you want to enter samadhi and experience the absolute in the cosmos, and if you want to understand the truth behind the appearance, and if the purpose of your pilgrimage is very great, then there is nothing that can come to you as an obstacle.

By means of kundalini awakening, you are compensating with the laws of nature and speeding up the pace of your physical, mental and spiritual evolution. Once the great shakti awakens, man is no longer a gross physical body operating with a lower mind and low voltage prana. Instead, every cell of his body is charged with the high voltage prana of kundalini. And when total awakening occurs, man becomes a junior god, an embodiment of divinity.”

~Swami Satyananda Saraswati (Excerpt from Kundalini Tantra)

Kundalini : Ancient Technology for Modern Times - Gopi Krishna
 

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colette davenport

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

Allow Me To Clear Something Up

Ok, so there seems to be some confusion around what a sex coach does as well as how MY VERSION of tantra training works. 

Sex coaching can be conducted over the phone or, as some of my clients prefer, in person. This type of coaching facilitates the client's sexual awareness and fulfillment through healing, education, and empowerment. Sex coaches deal with sex head-on without any blame, shame, or negative judgment so that clients can talk about the things that seem difficult to talk about and get out of shame, guilt and/or fear and into freedom, pleasure, and fulfillment. 

Sex coaching does not mean having sex (in any form) with a client and coaching them to get better at a particular act. That's not what my coaching and training services are for. In fact, technique and skills can be learned through videos and articles online FOR FREE. Here are some resources:http://mytinysecrets.com/how-to-eat-pussy-a-magical-guide-for-evolved-people/ and http://mytinysecrets.com/how-to-give-a-yoni-massage-12-crucial-steps-to-make-it-life-changing-for-her/ and http://mytinysecrets.com/the-fine-art-of-penis-thrusting/

I hope that cleared that up.  

Now a little about tantra:
While the content of my Tantra Training Program revolves around an ancient spiritual philosophy that, among myriad other aspects to HUMAN BEING-NESS, addresses sexual and erotic practices, I DO NOT engage in said practices with clients. In my role as teacher, I welcome students' authentic self expression and intimate exploration through conversation, however, any and all tantric sex practices are intended to be shared with one's partner of choice. There are no sexual acts performed in any of my services. 

I find it increasingly interesting how our culture so narrowly views the topic of sex as AN ACT exclusively. And so if we're talking about IT or exploring IT, we must be offering to have IT, right? ...WRONG. It's this perception, along with the general perception that sex is sinful and dirty (yes, that's the buried puritanical belief left over from the "good" ol' days that's been passed on to all of us in various ways) that is destroying humanity. As human beings, are we not physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual, AND sexual BEINGS? Why are we condemning an aspect of our humanity? Why are we making ourselves "wrong" and "bad" and "dirty"? Is it possible that in so doing we cultivate anger, fear, guilt, and shame? What would life be like if we stopped doing this to ourselves and stopped projecting this exceedingly low vibrational energy toward each other and the world?

This is why I study and teach tantra. Its philosophy and evolutionary practices are a guide for living in harmony with true human nature. I have seen and personally experienced the destruction rejecting an integral part of one's self does. I'm here to end the suffering. This is me doing my part to give voice to that which we are shamed into "keeping our mouths shut" about and "keep private and hidden". 

With the greatest Love an Honor... cd

 

 

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colette davenport

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

Tantra in Men's Health Magazine

As I was flipping through the latest issue of Men's Health (that I picked up for Matt, I swear), the "Sex Feature", a segment that just about every mainstream magazine for men or women has these days jumped out at me.  The feature titled, "Your Sex Wishes Granted" talked about things like erotic massage, outdoor sex, role playing, a threesome and on down the list...TANTRIC SEX.  Well, now I'm even more interested to read this author's perspective!  Steve Almond was sharing his experience, much like I do, about the interesting and rewarding, and pleasureable, and frustrating, and confusing, and wacky, and somehow limitlessly wonderful SEXUAL NATURE of us humans.  

The article starts:

"Sex isn't just about gratification... it's about overcoming your inhibitions and conquering fear and shame on behalf of a shared pleasure."  He continued to say that he and his wife, Erin, "had fallen into a routine, as couples sometimes do..." and after consulting a sex therapist he decided to create EROTIC RESOLUTIONS with Erin.  After a nice romantic dinner and some wine to relax them both, they made their lists.  She listed massage first. (Like I've been saying for years, gentlemen, women LOVE massage.  It's what really gets us in the mindset/mood for sex.)  Next, Steve offered "outdoor sex", which he said was attractive because of the thrill of being seen or caught involved.  He followed that by sharing that the scheduled dates and same old venue (the bedroom) felt a little too safe.  Mixing it up is always a good thing!  

The two lovers talked about other erotic resolutions and then came Tantric Sex.  I'll share here what was written in the article exactly as it is.

"It hardly came as a surprise that Erin pitched this idea.  She'd brought it up before and even had a book on the subject, which I was supposed to have read, though I'd gotten only as far as the pictures.  

But hey, I'd read the interviews with Sting.  I knew what tantra was all about: prolonging sex in some vaguely Buddhist manner so as to produce mind-blowing climaxes.  'I'm in, ' I said immediately. 

'Okay,' Erin said.  'But you did read the book, right?'

'Right,' I said.

'So you know it's not just about sex.'

'Of course,' I said.

'The focus is not on orgasms.'

'Sure.'

'There are going to be some sessions where we just breathe together.'

'Hold up,' I said. 

The ensuing discussion went just about as badly as you might imagine.  I kept saying things like 'Couldn't we just quietly hump when you come back all sweaty from yoga?'

A pattern seemed to be emerging in our resolutions.  Erin was emphasizing activities that involved a fair amount of -- for lack of a better term -- emotional legwork.  I, being a dude, was more focued on revamping our physical repertoire."

Off in the side column there were "tips" from experts added to the author's experiment with his wife.  Regarding tantra, Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., a relationship expert and professor of sociology at the University of Washington offers this:

"Forge a connection.  Tantra isn't just about orgasms -- it's about connection."

The following technique offered by Schwartz is also one I recommend to all my clients seeking to connect with their partners.  It is simple and can be done clothed or nude (I prefer the latter).  Sit comfortably facing each other.  Both partners: Place your left hand on your lover's heart.  Start with eyes closed and just feel for one another's heart beat.  Breathe normally until you begin feeling at ease.  Next, open your eyes and gaze into your partner's with a soft focus while beginning to let your breath deepen a bit.  As your mind yields to all the chatter focus on aligning your breath with your mate's.  That's it.  That's all there is to it.  The connection may induce feelings of ease, peace, joy, love, compassion...and/or...you might slip into the state of meditation.  You can conclude this encounter or allow yourselves to transition into lovemaking while embracing those feelings and that deep connection.  

Obviously, I recommend the exploration of tantra for couples wishing to deepen their connection and enhance (every area of) their life.  And like Steve and Erin realized through their erotic resolution exercise, men and women approach sex differently.  Being able to communicate our unique desires and limitations is not something we are taught in school.  Often times, we get to a point where a lack of satisfaction drives us to seek alternative or creative solutions.  Or we can prepare/educate/empower ourselves in advance to avoid a fall-out.  This is where I come in.  Being a relationship, sex, and intimacy coach as well offering a tantra training program is how I support couples (and singles, btw) in articulating and creating fulfilling (sex) lives. 

To read the full article by Steve Almond, "Your Sex Wishes Granted", pick up the Febuary 2014 issue of Men's Health Magazine.  To find out if my coaching or training program would turn up the temperature on your love life, schedule a complimentary 30-minute call.  Finally, keep an eye out for my workshops (for the fellas and the ladies) in Austin, TX on the above topics and more!

~Colette

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Types of Yoga

I've been asked a lot lately what the differences between Ashtanga and Anusara yoga are.  So below is a quick reference for all yoga "types".  In my Tantra Training program the yoga that is incorporated is Anusara-based, which has its roots in tantra philosophy.  If you're curious about tantra, yoga, or the mind-body-spirit connection contact me today for a complimentary exploratory call.

 

A Beginner's Guide to 8 Major Styles of Yoga

A brief look at different approaches to yoga and which suits your needs best.

by Kate Hanley

Skimming the yellow pages or the class schedule at your gym for a good yoga class can be a real exercise in confusion. How can you tell the difference between Anusara and ashtanga? Or hot yoga and hatha? Below is a cheat sheet to the many different styles of yoga being taught today. May it help you find your way to a class you love.

Anusara

Developed by American yogi John Friend in 1997, anusara yoga is a relative newcomer to the yoga world. Based on the belief that we are all filled with an intrinsic goodness, anusara seeks to use the physical practice of yoga to help students open their hearts, experience grace, and let their inner goodness shine through. Classes, which are specifically sequenced by the teacher to explore one of Friend's Universal Principles of Alignment, are rigorous for the body and the mind.

Ashtanga

Ashtanga is based on ancient yoga teachings, but it was popularized and brought to the West by Pattabhi Jois (pronounced "pah-tah-bee joyce") in the 1970s. It's a rigorous style of yoga that follows a specific sequence of postures and is similar to vinyasa yoga, as each style links every movement to a breath. The difference is that ashtanga always performs the exact same poses in the exact same order. This is a hot, sweaty, physically demanding practice.

Bikram

Approximately 30 years ago, Bikram Choudhury developed this school of yoga where classes are held in artificially heated rooms. In a Bikram class, you will sweat like you've never sweated before as you work your way through a series of 26 poses (like ashtanga, a Bikram class always follows the same sequence, although a Bikram sequence is different from an ashtanga sequence). Bikram is somewhat controversial, as Choudhury has trademarked his sequence and has prosecuted studios who call themselves Bikram but don't teach the poses exactly the way he says they should. It is also wildly popular, making it one of the easiest types of classes to find.

Hatha

Hatha yoga is a generic term that refers to any type of yoga that teaches physical postures. Nearly every type of yoga class taught in the West is hatha yoga. When a class is marketed as hatha, it generally means that you will get a gentle introduction to the most basic yoga postures. You probably won't work up a sweat in a hatha yoga class, but you should end up leaving class feeling longer, looser, and more relaxed.

Hot Yoga

Basically the same thing as Bikram. Generally, the only difference between Bikram and hot yoga is that the hot yoga studio deviates from Bikram's sequence in some small way, and so they must call themselves by another name. The room will be heated, and you will sweat buckets.

Iyengar

Iyengar yoga was developed and popularized by B.K.S. Iyengar (pronounced "eye-yen-gar"). Iyengar is a very meticulous style of yoga, with utmost attention paid to finding the proper alignment in a pose. In order to help each student find the proper alignment, an Iyengar studio will stock a wide array of props – blocks, blankets, straps, chairs, bolsters, and a rope wall are all common. There isn't a lot of jumping around in Iyengar classes, so you won't get your heart rate up, but you'll be amazed to discover how physically and mentally challenging it is to stay put. Iyengar teachers must undergo a comprehensive training – if you have an injury or chronic condition, Iyengar is probably your best choice to insure you get the knowledgeable instruction you need.

Restorative

Restorative yoga is a delicious way to way to relax and soothe frayed nerves. Restorative classes use bolsters, blankets, and blocks to prop students in passive poses so that the body can experience the benefits of a pose without having to exert any effort. A good restorative class is more rejuvenating than a nap. Studios and gyms often offer them on Friday nights, when just about everyone could use a little profound rest.

Vinyasa

Vinyasa (pronounced "vin-yah-sah") is the Sanskrit word for "flow", and vinyasa classes are known for their fluid, movement-intensive practices. Vinyasa teachers choreograph their classes to smoothly transition from pose to pose, and often play music to keep things lively. The intensity of the practice is similar to Ashtanga, but no two vinyasa classes are the same. If you hate routine and love to test your physical limits, vinyasa may be just your ticket. 

For a little more help, try this What Kind of Yogi Are You? Quiz.

 

Kate Hanley is a freelance writer who specializes in exploring the mind-body connection. She completed her yoga teacher training at OM Yoga in New York City and has studied with yoga experts Rodney Yee and Cyndi Lee and meditation teacher Sharon Salzberg.

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colette davenport

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

Tantra and Holistic Health

In most Western societies, sex is viewed as a physical and often taboo act between two people with the goal of reaching physical orgasm. It's something we "do" rather than part of who we "are".  Most people understand that there is a certain amount of chemistry behind it but only insomuch as there are certain areas that stimulate pleasure and certain chemicals that are released during orgasm. It’s still regarded as a purely physical act, regardless of the fact that you may use mental stimulation to reach orgasm. Not so with tantric sex.

Tantric sex is a whole other ballgame. All pretenses are dropped. There’s no need to pretend that you’re a wonderful lover because that defeats the purpose of the act. Tantric sex is all about two people coming together in search of enlightenment, self-awareness and spiritual ecstasy. The body is there and participating but it isn’t the central focus; instead it’s the vehicle.

Tantric Energy

Practitioners of tantric sex appreciate the energy that sex generates. This is a pure energy, with no negative force or connotation to it at all. It is purely good. So good, in fact, that it permeates the entire universe. It’s an all-encompassing life energy that strengthens everything and everybody that it comes into contact with and the fact that we have that within us puts us at a level with "the gods" when we participate in tantric sex correctly.  You may have heard this energy called Chi, or Prana, or Kundalini, or Shakti.

Tantric Equality

Because everything has a contradictory force, male and female aren’t recognized as separate forces but rather as equal yet opposite polarities that come together in every person. Men have female energies and women have male energies. Much like the yin and yang, dark and light, or up and down, male and female are simply two inseparable parts of the same whole.

Taking that into consideration, during tantric sex, there is no leader or follower, no master and student. There are only two parts of the same whole coming together to create one of the most powerful forces in the universe: love.  Love is the word we give to represent that which moves us, that which is pure and unbounded.  

Tantric Life Force

When male and female halves come together in an authentically tantric way, setting aside all Western misconceptions, fears and inhibitions, pure energy - life force may be harnessed. Because tantric sex is simply about enjoying the energy and reaching enlightenment, all of that garbage and pressure to perform can be set aside. This leaves room for the natural life force, the Kundalini - Shakti, to be released.

When you truly come together, and reach that level of enlightenment, the intense life force that you will experience will be better than any physical orgasm you’ve ever experienced. You’ll be in touch with everything in the universe and will be able to exchange this healing, powerful, joyful energy with everything around you. This is truly the intention of tantric sex.  And like anything else worthwhile, it must be practiced to be continually experienced.  

What is Kundalini-Shakti?

"In India, kundalini is personified as the Divine Mother: Shakti Ma, Kali Ma, or other goddesses. She is the feminine power at the base of the spine, which travels up the spine to unite with the masculine power, her consort, Lord Shiva (Shakta), in the seventh chakra, sahasrara. This union of opposites is a powerful symbol depicted in all cultures.

In the ancient scriptures, kundalini is described in three different manifestations. The first is unmanifest cosmic energy: Para-kundalini. The second is vital energy of the created universe: Prana-kundalini. The third is consciousness: Shakti-kundalini, the intermediary between the other two.

Shakti-kundalini is the link to higher awareness, the revealer of all mantras, and the eternal source of bliss flowing from sahasrara (crown chakra). Through her shristi krama (process of creation), she creates by descending from sahasrara through all the chakras. She sustains by abiding in the muladhara chakra. Through her laya karma (process of absorption), she destroys or dissolves by ascending and returning to sahasrara.

When Shakti descends to the lower chakras, she is known as jagan mohini (world bewilder) and causes maya: delusion, limitation, ignorance, and ensnarement in material life. As she descends, she becomes grosser and loses her power and subtlety.

As kundalini shakti ascends through the chakras, she becomes subtler. On her pathway upward, she reabsorbs all the creative principles that originally descended from sahasrara. This is called laya-absorption. During this homeward journey, Shakti removes the veils of maya (illusion), which evaporate like a mirage.

As kundalini ascends through the chakras, mental limitations are gradually removed so consciousness can shine in its pristine glory. Mental fluctuations settle down and the mind becomes serene. Awareness flows smoothly and the mind becomes a vehicle for bliss and happiness.

At sahasrara chakra kundalini merges with Shiva, who is identified with her. In her formless state she is consciousness. In her creative form she is Shakti, the power of manifestation.

Therefore, kundalini's descent creates increasing ignorance, bondage, and delusion. The same kundalini energy, as it ascends, causes spiritual awakening, freedom, and wisdom."

Exploring Chakras: Awaken Your Untapped Energy
Susan G. Shumsky, New Page Books (January 1, 2003) pp. 70-1

If you’d like to learn how to experience tantric sex with your significant other and release your own personal Shakti, contact me for the Tantra Training application.

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colette davenport

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport