Confessions of a Sex Coach (video 4)

If you didn't get a chance to watch and read the last episode I recommend doing that first.  Heck, if you haven't seen episodes 1 through 3 go back and do that! ;-) 

In today's confession, I am sharing where I'm at currently and why.  This may appear contrary to the last episode, but it's not.  All things are connected.

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The American culture doesn't value self-care as highly as it does "work".  In fact, when we think of self-care we tend to think of vacations and massages and the like. It may help, therefore, to language this in a different way...a way our Americanized brains won't judge as some sort of reward for having done the "real work".  Be assured, what I speak of is most certainly WORK.

Try this:

  • Self work
  • Inner work
  • Primary work
  • Personal work
  • Personal development

What would YOU call it?  Come up with something that your thinking can assimilate in a positive and empowering way.

I imagine we will eventually evolve to value this kind of "work" like we have fitness. Fitness wasn't immensely popular and cool and a part of most people's routines a few decades ago.  But look how hot and sexy it is now.  

Oh, and guess what?  It's a form of self-care.

The point is, to be the very best version of myself and to manifest the Big, Bold, Badass vision I have requires some inner work and self-care.

I have taken the time since last Friday to focus my energy on the messages and their meanings that come from being still and silent.  Interestingly, this is all occurring as Venus goes Retrograde. (actually, it's not interesting to me at all since I am super sensitive to planetary happenings)

Side note: Over the last week, in this introspective, receptive space I have had more clients than the previous 3 weeks combined.  

In the last confession, I talked about sales and revenue and building a business.  I indicated that these have been challenging for me and that to become fluent in that language would require me to grow and "Step into the shoes of the Warrior archetype".  

The Warrior is someone who goes after what she wants, who controls and commands to achieve her goals.  The energy is very much an effort-filled one.  The Warrior sees the world (or their respective industry) as a place to conquer.  Many business moguls are this archetype.

By contrast, the Lover archetype will allow the Universe to provide for her.  She is always receptive and engages the present moment as a unique gift.  She, by virtue of her inviting nature, is the ultimate host for intimate gatherings...of people, of ideas, of energy and resources.  Many healers are Lovers, archetypically speaking.

I've been pursuing a theory that we each have all four fundamental archetypes within us.  They take up residence in a specific order.  Primary, secondary, tertiary, quaternary.

As a reminder the 4 types are:

  1. Lover
  2. Warrior
  3. Mystic/Magician
  4. Queen/King

And there are many, many others that are extension of these, of course.

In my theory, the FULLEST expression of our individual human being-ness comes from activating all 4 archetypes.  This means that we must develop the qualities within ourselves that don't necessarily come easy.  

That's the inner work.

I know I can sit back and let the Lover do her thang, healing and live a lovely life of ease and grace.  

AND I have a massive vision that needs the Warrior in me to step up.

I've been driven by the notion that the way I am to serve the planet is by ushering in a new-found awareness for the importance of intimacy and connection among people -- starting with the individual and primary relationships. (I mean seriously, am I the LOVER or what!?! lol) 

I see sex as a vehicle (among other things) for full self-expression.  It can be a joy-filled, pleasure-rich, magical, transformational experience IF we allow ourselves to SEE it as such. (click to tweet!)

I can envision this way of being with sex facilitating healing on a primal level.

I see this healing not only our bodies...and there are SO MANY OF US dealing with illness, pain, and suffering...but our minds, hearts, and souls as well. Which is precisely what the world needs.  BADLY.

The problem is we don't SEE ourselves as connected to one another or nature and her inhabitants. A glaring example is the killing of Cecil the lion and other trophy hunts like it.

It is possible that this ugly experience had to occur for us to start to see ourselves and the world around us differently.

Think about it, 15 years ago there was no Facebook so something like what we're witnessing now could have (and certainly did) happen without any global awareness and impact.  The internet, as a unifying tool, has created a massive-scale awareness for the blatant disregard for life.  So we can come together and correct the injustice, if we choose.

If we were truly evolved people, however, we wouldn't shame and destroy these offenders.  We would come together to help heal them. What torment must they possess in their minds, hearts, and souls to consciously choose to murder animals for sport?

I do understand the destruction from shame can be a catalyst for healing and self-discovery.  Just like illness can be what causes someone to awaken to a more purposeful and conscious way of life. So maybe there's actually good and purpose in all the disease our planet is enduring?

We can only change how we're being if we do the inner work and choose to SEE the symbolism in the pain and suffering.

Drugs and surgery and shame and destruction.  These are not the answers.

While we are getting closer to healing, we sure as hell are taking our time to evolve. Inner work, intimacy with the Self, connection and the on-going experience of love for self and others and the world around us...  

These are the answers.

I know this has been a hodge-podge of a blog post so thank you for taking the time out of your beautiful life to hear me.  

I'll tie it all together by saying this:

I am the Lover and I'm here to usher in greater awareness of the importance of love, intimacy, and connection -- on whatever scale I can manage.  I am in the process of developing my skills as the Warrior to be BIG in the world and spread the message far and wide (conquering some hate and fear along the way!)...

AND I NEED YOUR HELP.

My Big, Bold, Badass request is that YOU do your own inner work (aka self-care) and seek to know your greatest gifts.  

I am here to support you and be the "side-kick to your SUPER HERO" if you want me to.

With bigtime graciousness, 

Colette.





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colette davenport

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

Couples Tantra

Over the years, I have had the great honor to work with loving couples who want to AMPLOVEFY their sensual physical~spiritual connection.  The following is a recap of how one particular program originated for a very cool couple-client.

Normally, when coaching couples, I work with one person at a time, creating a safe and judgement-free space for that person's exploration and expression of their wondrous body, mind, and spirit.  They then have a monthly joint session to weave together their learning and growth.  In the case of this couple, however, the intention remained the same but the energy was more playful and so they chose to dive into Tantra.  

The intimacy, sensuality, and connection was already present between these two partners, and they were prepared to explore and express TOGETHER, evolving their bond.

After a consultation to get clear about where each partner was at that moment, and where they wanted to go jointly, we stepped into the Sanctuary.  To bring ease and fluidity into the body we moved through a few couples yoga postures before a guided meditation.  The meditation took the couple through the Chakras, or energy centers within the body, and was also a conscious breathing exercise.  After creating a foundation for connection and "Feeling rather than Thinking", we shifted into sensual full body massage.

He was the first recipient.  Together she and I gave  him a loving, compassionate, slow, mindful massage working from head to toe.  Teaching someone the art of sensual massage was extremely rewarding for me.  Additionally, the openess and acceptance this couple expressed to one another is truly inspiring!  When he was well tended to, the couple switched giver and receiver so that he and I could spread the love-treatment over her body next.  I think she may have mentioned that his skills improved in that mini-massage coaching session.  Gentlemen take note!  Ladies LOVE a skilled sensual massage from their lover!!

The loving energy was quite palpable so I slipped out of the Sanctuary and allowed the couple to complete their time together how they saw fit.

This was as much a rewarding experience for me as I believe it was for the beautiful couple.  Clearly, what there is to do for me now is develop more around this type of session...maybe a program?...in the near future. (AND THIS IS HOW TANTRIC 6 WAS BORN)

And so here's a "heads-up" to all my marvelous male clients: Imagine how glorious it could be if you and your wife/girlfriend had the skill and the mind-set to give each other a FULL BODY SENSUAL MASSAGE at home!

Hmmmm....Sensual Touch Training Program?

Is Tantra something you're curious about but feel like it might be too "woo woo"?  I used to feel the same way!  So in response, I have translated the ancient wisdom and practices into a modern-day language and application the the most UNhippie person can benefit from.  Call 512-491-9774 for a convo with me about it!

XOXO, cd

P.S.  After several sessions with this couple I received the touching comments below.

My wife and I started our journey with you over a year ago, and it has been one of the most rewarding experiences of our lives. We were not sure what we would be in for, and have been truly blessed to have met you and have you in our lives. It was scary to allow someone into our intimate space, but you are now one with us spiritually… and for that we are forever intertwined with you. You are truly a blessing to our lives and hope that in some way we have been the same for you.We are extremely excited about where your future leads you, and know that we are better for having met and had this experience of growth with you. -- J & N

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colette davenport

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

My Vision

I envision a world where a DEEP UNDERSTANDING of our human nature allows us to open up to ourselves and others with EASE.  We connect to the GREAT LOVE that encourages us to tune into our masculine and feminine energies, LETTING GO at once of judgement and expectation, and we AUTHENTICALLY APPRECIATE the strength, beauty, sensuality, creativity, and INSANE FUCKING HARMONY of our breath, body, mind, and spirit.
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colette davenport

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport