At What Point Do You Say, "Enough is ENOUGH!!"?

At What Point Do You Say, "Enough is ENOUGH!!"?

For me that was this morning. I had just finished cleaning house. My hair was pulled back, I was wearing shorts and a sports bra and I stopped to look at my reflection in the mirror. 

I broke out in tears.

Not only am I too broke to have my deflated breast implant fixed, I can't even afford to spend money on a chicken cutlet. It looks like I've had a unilateral mastectomy. I can only imagine what women who HAVE had that surgery must feel like.

Then there's the fact that I have been living with a tumor for nine years. It's grown well past the point I said I would let it get to before agreeing to have surgery.

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The 4 Goddesses

The 4 Goddesses

Which are one you?

We all have a guiding light or temperament that determines how we think, feel, and interact with the world. From archetypal psychology, this temperament is broken down into 4 types.

Lover - Charming, Sensual, Social, Adventurous

Warrior - Organized, Decisive, Ambitious, Competitive

Mystic - Perceptive, Imaginative, Spiritual, Untraditional

Queen - Caring, Generous, Devoted, Principled

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Love vs. Fear

Two streams run side by side - so close to one another it's very easy to hop from one to the next. 

One stream is LOVE. It's clear, pure light, beautiful, peaceful...you float on this stream. 

The other stream is FEAR.  It's cloudy, cold, loud, and draws you downward as if being caught in a whirlpool. 

These streams flow within us and all around us.  The former dictates the latter.  Meaning, where we are within, so then is our outward experience. It is not the reverse. 

To tap into the LOVE current one must be AWARE of the duality of Love vs. Fear consciousness.  One must be HONEST about where they are now and OPEN to all possibilities.  TRUST that Grace is by your side and be HUMBLE and THANKFUL for ALL that is present.  

We CAN CHOOSE which stream to swim in... If you would like to swim in the current of LOVE...I will guide you to it.

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colette davenport

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

Ring In the New Year Right!

I was reminded today that my job is to be a facilitator for the most powerful force there is, LOVE.

In honor of that and to support YOU experiencing self-love (while getting crystal clear so you can set yourself up for success in the new year) I am offering a $200 scholarship to the IGNITE program for the first 8 people who sign up.

The usual investment is only $497... 
However, enrolling by Sunday, January 3rd gets you 4 weeks of coaching for less than $300!!

Isn't it time you decided to GET CLEAR and TAKE FOCUSED ACTION in the very first month of the new year...so you don't repeat the shit storm that was 2015?

http://www.colettedavenport.com/ignite

In 4 Short Weeks You Will:

  • Create a COMPELLING and achievable vision for your {love} life
  • Reveal the top 3 barriers to your most FULFILLING {love} life
  • Establish a FUN & EFFECTIVE plan-of-action filled with ideas, tips, and tools to have your vision become a reality in no time
  • Learn the SECRETS to strengthen your “love muscles” (it’s not what it sounds like :-)
  • Get LIVELY support to help make the power up process EASY ...and 
  • IGNITE the flame within your heart & soul magnetizing the LOVE you desire…”like a moth to a flame”

BONUS: You'll also get my exclusive 3P Planner: a strategy with ideas, tips, and tools to power up passion, pleasure, and play.

P.S. this is a 4-week strategy program that works for your love life AND/OR your health, your career & your finances. Pick the one that's most out of alignment and let's get you back on track!

P.S.S. SHARE this post ... You know you're not the only one of your friends who need some re-organizing. They will thank you (and the world will be a better place).

‪#‎AMPLOVEFY‬

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colette davenport

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

Waiting -- As If Tomorrow Will Always Come

Less than 24 hours ago I realized (with the help of my coach) that I have been WAITING for my life to get started...to get good.  What I want to experience: A strong, lean, balanced body...A passionate and playful love life with a man I'm excited to be with...A thriving multi-million dollar business with a world-wide reputation for delivering transformational results...A beautiful custom built modern home filled with friends and family...A ton of travel to places all over the world for work and play--that is, the VISION I have for my life at this stage --  I've been imagining but not acting on.  Or rather, not acting BOLDLY and CONSISTENTLY on.

Bold and consistent action.  This is my new mantra.  Sure, I could keep doing what I've been doing, mostly imagining--with sprinkles of action all tinted by a lack of confidence and a subconscious belief that what I want will never actually happen.  But then in a year or two when I've only progressed to the point of where I could've been in only a few short months (if I were taking bold and consistent action), I'll be frustrated and depressed that my life doesn't look the way I want it to.  Kinda like now.  

NO THANKS!

I want a BIG, BOLD, BADASS life.  One full of passion and meaning and contribution and travel and play and PEOPLE -- to work with, to play with, to grow with.

In coaching, my small, safe, boring bubble gets burst over and over again.  Sometimes that happens gently, and other times it's with a resounding BANG -- yesterday's coaching session was a big bang for me.

I fucking love you, Alicia Marie!  I am by far the best version of myself when I'm in coaching (and yes, I just keep getting better and better ;-).  My confidence has been amplified, this level of clarity makes everything, most importantly what actions to take, OBVIOUS.  As in: OF COURSE I should be working primarily with women, OF COURSE I need to be writing and sharing these observations all the time, OF COURSE I need to be on stage speaking to groups (dare I say large audiences?) of women.  

It's these things: clarity, confidence, and bold and consistent actions that will have me living IN my vision rather than imagining it as though its a far away galaxy to be dreamed about.

My vision of being a best-selling author, engaging speaker, and extraordinary coach with a thriving multi-million dollar business that has a world-wide reputation for delivering transformational results...and...my mission to elevate passion, pleasure, and play in the bedrooms of people everywhere by cultivating and supporting integrity, harmony, and vitality in each of us...may seem lofty (at the moment). But I'm super excited because I've got a badass coach who is committed to me manifesting that reality and an extraordinary support system (my tribe, you know who you are) keeping me accountable to it.  

I encourage every other woman (who's ready) to feel confident, powerful...big, bold, and badass in business and in the bedroom!

THIS is my focus.  My commitment.   My purpose.  It's what I'm here to do...starting with MYSELF.  Get ready to see and feel the energy IGNITE and ELECTRIFY anyone who's around me. 

No more small, safe, and boring from me...and whoever else is ready to be done with that shit -- let me know...I got something for ya!

xoxo--cd


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colette davenport

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

Challenging the Truth

Earlier this week I made the following post on Face Book.  Today I want to share a strategy for self-supporting one's truth/belief challenging.  Check it out...

I love challenging people's "truth" or beliefs. And I love it when my coach, Alicia Marie challenges mine. I realized in my last coaching session that i have a tendency to tell myself this lie, "i don't like my life", from time to time. I can remember saying that as a kid...and as a teen...and in my 20's...and my 30's. When I believe that little lie-- LIKE IT'S THE TRUTH-- challenges, frustrations, depression and all kinds of shit shows up in my daily life. When I recognize that for what it is (an unconscious out-of-date broken record in my inner dialogue) I can replace it with something more useful and in fact, TRUE. The truth is I love a lot about my life...my friends, my family, my clients, the home I live in, the opportunities I have, the health of my body, the sun on my face, the two little weenie dogs that I cannot get enough of, my partner Matt Bennett, my voice and the courage to speak up and share who I am and what I'm up to...See?

I didn't intend to write all this but I guess my point is: When we challenge the "truth"/belief we are so latched onto, often a whole lotta good (peace, joy, love, freedom, connection) results.

What "truth" are you willing to have challenged today?

And now for that strategy...

Not everyone is able to have coaching conversations to support their personal growth so for anyone who could use a step-by-step self-supporting strategy, her ya go. 

1. The first thing to do is NOTICE when you're in a rut (or funk, or dark hole, or stagnant spot, or anything LESS THAN desirable). The cool thing about life is it's meant to be lived JOYFULLY and ABUNDANTLY. So if that's not the experience you're having (barring a traumatic experience, of course) then you may want to challenge some beliefs or the "truth" as you see it.  

2. Next, get CURIOUS about the thoughts you're having that contribute to the "less than experience".  What is it that you believe to be true.  It doesn't even have to be some big deal.  In my FB post above, I was simply thinking "I don't like my life".  That wasn't the only thing I was thinking but it sure did keep popping up for a few days.  And that little lie felt like the truth.  I mean, I could find all kinds of evidence to support it like: I wasn't getting any clients, my face was breaking out, my clothes didn't fit right, my relationship wasn't what I wanted it to be...the list goes on. The point is those thoughts were all about all the shit I DID NOT WANT.  

3. Ask yourself the question, "What if the opposite were true?"  In my case, Alicia asked me to tell her what I DID like about my life.  Sitting in my office I looked around and saw my doggies laying in the patch of sunlight on the floor, "I love Copper and Penny", I said.  Then I saw the green lawn through the windows and realized I love my little bungalow.  I saw my shiny new car in the driveway, "I love the opportunities I have to earn a living that affords nice things".  I thought of Alicia and my other AMAZING friends, "I love my friends...and family...and clients...and my work."  Alicia then said, well it sounds like you DO like your life and there may just be an area that's out of integrity.  What area is that?

4. If you're experiencing LESS THAN (fabulous) you may want to consider what's out of integrity.  What has gone unaddressed or unexpressed that has turned into a story that isn't true? What I was not addressing was my desire for intimacy (physical, sexual, and spiritual) with Matt.  I had been making attempts to express that but I realized those attempts were originating from a fear impulse.  Fear has the qualities of contraction, aggression, and manipulation/control.  In other words, I was approaching my request in a closed-off manner....even though I was asking for an open, loving experience.  Integrity, btw, is the alignment between your thoughts, words, and actions with your true essence, heart and soul (aka LOVE).  So what was out of integrity for me is pretty clear, huh? 

5. LOVE is the source of sustainable creation.  Are you creating from love or reacting out of fear?  Don't get me wrong, fear definitely manifests some stuff.  But it's usually the stuff you DON'T WANT.  Love is the true creator.  It's who we (and all of life) are at our core.  The love impulse contains qualities like openness, invitation, empathy, presence, peace and ease, and joy.  I don't know about you, but I sure do prefer to experience those qualities over the alternative.  And so I did.  The conversation that Matt and I had as a result of me doing this work was a breakthrough one.  We still have some work to do to fully honor each other in the relationship but with integrity, it will be much more powerful and creative rather than disempowering and reactive!

In conclusion, we are more likely to be in integrity when we are coming from love.  When our thoughts, words, and actions are aligned with our true essence, heart and soul--we are POWERFUL and CREATIVE.  We can trust our TRUTH, allow LOVE to guide us, and create what we DO want. Anytime you're having a "less than" experience challenge what you're calling the truth. Get curious about the supporting beliefs and question whether they're rooted in LOVE or FEAR.  If fear is motivating you, you're probably out of integrity.  Clear that up and the "less than" will magically (yes, magically!) turn into a "more than" experience!

If you want a judgement-free space to sift through your thoughts and feelings coaching can be an efficient and effective method for helping you get powerful and creative leading to YOUR 'more than" experience.  Call me for a complimentary 30-minute call to see how it works!

WITH HONOR, 

cd

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colette davenport

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

13 Sex-Drive Killers To Be On The Look Out For

Taken from medicinenet.com, the following are some contributors to a less-than-fabulous sex life.  How many would you say fit your profile?

Sex-Drive Killers:

1. Stress

The body does not react well to stress. Emotional stress may affect physical function, including sexual desire and performance. Realizing what underlying stressors may exist is the first step in treatment. Consider stress management practices such as yoga, massage, and meditation to help relieve the burden.

2. Partner

Sexual desire requires two to tango. Both partners need to feel connected and women especially need the feeling of being close. Poor communications, a sense of betrayal, lack of trust, and repeated fighting and criticism may create a relationship that lacks closeness and intimacy. Coaching may be the answer if couples find that the issues are too tough to resolve on their own.

2. Alcohol

Alcohol is usually not the answer to any problem. While alcohol may decrease inhibitions, it also decreases sexual performance and libido. Your partner may not appreciate a drunken advance and may be turned off by it.

4. Too Little Sleep

As with any physical activity, a rested body increases performance. Lack of sleep, including lack of proper sleep, may be the culprit that decreases sex drive. Sleep apnea is a potential cause for lack of good sleep and lack of libido. 

5. Having Kids

Being a parent is a full-time job and you need carve out time without a child or baby around. Planning quiet time for intimacy and sexual desire may require some creative thinking, like having sex when the baby naps, or hiring a babysitter so mom and dad can have a play date.

6. Medication

Side effects of many prescription medications include loss of libido and sex drive. Some examples include:

  • High blood pressure medications including water pills and beta blockers
  • Cold medications that contain antihistamines and decongestants
  • Antidepressants
  • Birth control pills
  • Narcotic pain pills
  • Chemotherapy drugs

7. Poor Body Image

Sexy is as sexy feels. Many people have low self-esteem when it comes to their body shape and this can affect their sex drive and desire. Being happy with yourself is an important first step. A supportive partner always helps or working with a coach to transform self-image can be a great tool.

8. Obesity

Obesity affects one-third of all Americans and being overweight can limit desire because of decreased sexual enjoyment, lack of performance, and poor self-esteem. How you feel about yourself goes a long way in affecting how you enjoy sex. Hiring a health coach may be helpful.

9. Low T

While a man's testosterone level gradually falls with aging, there is not necessarily any relationship between hormone levels and the desire for sex. It is just one potential cause for decreased libido and you may want to look for other causes in addition to just low testosterone (“low T”).

10. Erection Problems

Erectile dysfunction (ED) can not only affect the ability to have intercourse but also how a man feels about his ability to perform. There are many options available to treat ED and as a sex coach, I often work with men seeking a drug-free solution.

11. Depression

Depression affects all facets of life including sex drive. Losing pleasure in daily activities often requires treatment including counseling and perhaps medication. Unfortunately, some antidepressants also depress libido.  Exercise is a natural anti-depressant.  Eating a clean, unprocessed diet will also boost levels of feel-good hormones.

12. Menopause

Menopause may cause physical changes that affect intercourse, including vaginal dryness and pain with intercourse (dyspareunia). Natural treatments are available to enhance sexual desire and function after menopause.

13. Lack of Closeness

Making love is more than just sex. Intimacy and closeness are important part of a healthy love life. If sexual desire is waning, it may be time to inject romance back in the relationship. Snuggling, giving each other massages and spending casual time together may help ignite that spark.

Want to know how to turn things around?  Evaluating and strategizing are two main components of my coaching program...Contact me today for a FREE INTIMACY EVALUATION to get things moving in the direction you desire!



Feel It to Be It

I'm reading a book called "The Divine Matrix" by Gregg Braden. In it, the author explains how emotions(FEELINGS) are the language of the matrix and prayer is how we express our intentions to the Universe. What struck me anew was this: When we ASK for something (in prayer, perhaps) or talk with each other about how we WANT something or we're WORKING TOWARD something we're still FEELING as though we are not yet that something or we don't have it, whatever "it" is. The key is to FEEL as though you ALREADY ARE whatever, that you HAVE SUCCEEDED in reaching your goal. This is what world class athletes do. This is what those who've spontaneously healed did. When we truly 'get' the POWER we have to heal and/or manifest something we also experience less anxiety around the NEED to do so. We find compassion and love for who/how/what we are and have in this world. And while in a state of peace (vs anxiety) we cultivate the FEELINGS of victory, achievement, success, health, love, etc. Which is very different than feeling compelled by Ego (fear based) to change.

Also, when an intention to manifest something is based in Ego, that desire will not be recognized by the Universe (matrix), and thus will not manifest.

What does this (new?) information do for you? How might you shift your intentions and goals knowing this universal principle? Might you start imagining what it would FEEL like to be/do/have what ever you want to create? 

I know I am. Every day when I practice Chi-Lel qigong ( http://www.chilel.com/) I see my neck as normal. I FEEL the joy and playful silliness that has been missing from my personality these last few years. That feeling is really fabulous! I FEEL energy moving though me where it once was stagnant. So cool! I also visualize the home and LIFE that Matt Bennett and I are manifesting. I FEEL enormous love and connection to my guy and to the people in our lives. This, my friends, is the motivation for creating our dream space and ideal lives. To SHARE the love, joy, playful, silly, relaxing, and fun experiences with others.

I guess I could just summarize by saying "Life is Beautiful". Believe it. FEEL it and you will SEE it in your life.

cd

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colette davenport

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

Manifesting Your Vision

Certainty.  Language.  Clarity.  Emotion.  Energy.  Detachment.  Gratitude.

CERTAINTY
This is THE KEY for manifesting one's intention or vision. You must be certain it is what you desire from the depth of your heart.  Ask your Higher Self (Spirit) if being-doing-having what your mind (your "character") thinks you desire is TRUE for YOU.  Meditate and ask the question - a clearly formed, to the point, yes-or-no question.  Then listen, feel, or "look" for the answer while your mind is empty, you are not distracted, and your body is at ease.  Breathe deeply and TRUST that your heart (where Spirit resides) knows what's right for you.  Accept the answer.

LANGUAGE
The words one uses to state their intentions is VERY important as the Universe will give you EXACTLY what you ask for.  For example, if you are not 100% certain in your heart that you desire a particular thing - you will continue to have the experience of getting close then falling short...as though the thing is just out of reach.  So be certain then create an intention that is precise.  Use direct, non-vague phrases.  Use emotion.  For instance, if you desire to LIVE happily in Austin, don't say "I intend to BE in Austin..." and if your intention has a date or other time reference attached to it, state it.  Example: "I intend to live filled with extreme joy and abundance in my dream home in Austin, TX on or before November 2014 ."

CLARITY
Once you're certain of your desires and intentions and have declared them in such a way that the Universe will know exactly what to do, then you can clearly create what it looks/feels/sounds/smells/tastes like to be-do-have them.  Create a mental image of yourself already living out your dreams.  Again meditate - give yourself the time and space to be still mentally and physically.  Breathe deeply, connect to the universal life force within and all around you.  As you take a deep breath in and let it out, allow the image of where you intend to be begin to form around you.  With your eyes closed, see your environment as though you are looking at it in front of you- to the right is... And to the left... Under foot or over head... Listen to the sounds, smell the aromas.  BE in your environment, don't "watch it on a screen".  Place yourself totally there - what do you feel in this environment?  Move.  Walk from one room to the next.  Look in a mirror.  Or if you're outside, are there animals?  Birds?  What is the weather?  Temperature? Are you alone or is someone with you?  Don't get caught up in a conversation with them.  See them fully, acknowledge them, and then take a deep breath.   

ENERGY & EMOTION
How do you desire to BE?  Happy? Healthy?  Wealthy?  Passionate?  State that in your intention. Feel that in your visualization.  Appreciate the health, joy, abundant love and prosperity you are experiencing in your vision.  Cultivate those feelings as you meditate.  Give your intentions the positive energy and love that are essential for creation, for manifestation, for LIFE.  Also, be mindful of the mind's desire to "move away from fear/pain" and a scarcity/lack attitude. We sometimes subconsciously, due to conditioning, create intentions from these (negative energy) desires.  Meaning, look out for the buried "fear of losing something, or pain of failure" as reasons for your intentions.  Move  toward light, love, and abundance.

DETACHMENT
You must surrender your intentions and desires to the Universal "cosmic" Intelligence.  The force that causes a mighty oak to manifest from tiny acorn is the ultimate miracle worker.  Your declaration to Be-Do-Have something, if certain, clearly stated & visualized with emotion and energy will be received by the universal heart/mind. And if it's aligned with the intention of that Great Wisdom it will be realized.  However, if you are so attached to that thing that you FEAR  NOT being/doing/having...THIS CREATES NEGATIVE ENERGY WHICH IS NOT RESPONDED TO OR REWARDED.  So intend, visualize, and let go.  All that happens, happens for the purpose of our growth.

GRATITUDE
Finally, be thankful.  Thankful for the opportunity to express yourself, Thankful for all the experiences you've already had and those yet to come.  Be thankful for having already manifested into the being YOU ARE.  And say a deep heart-felt thanks for the manifesting of your vision as though it has already been set in motion...Because it HAS!!!!

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colette davenport

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport