At What Point Do You Say, "Enough is ENOUGH!!"?

At What Point Do You Say, "Enough is ENOUGH!!"?

For me that was this morning. I had just finished cleaning house. My hair was pulled back, I was wearing shorts and a sports bra and I stopped to look at my reflection in the mirror. 

I broke out in tears.

Not only am I too broke to have my deflated breast implant fixed, I can't even afford to spend money on a chicken cutlet. It looks like I've had a unilateral mastectomy. I can only imagine what women who HAVE had that surgery must feel like.

Then there's the fact that I have been living with a tumor for nine years. It's grown well past the point I said I would let it get to before agreeing to have surgery.

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The Birth of a Book (That Will Change Lives)

The Birth of a Book (That Will Change Lives)

I recognize the title of this blog post is bold. It's a lot to live up to, right? The reality is, I might fail miserably at writing this book...and I'm doing it anyway.  

I'm claiming this position because it's what I want to create.

I have a deep desire to create something that gives me great joy, honors my unique gifts and experiences, and offers something useful to others. I've spent this morning writing, as I often do. But this morning, my birthday, I asked to be shown what there is to do now ... and what revealed itself to me is this:

WRITE A BOOK ABOUT SELF LOVE (SELF WORTH)

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Confessions of a Sex Coach (video 7)

HOLY SHIT!!!! Everything IS connected.

Click image to watch video

Here's the previous post called, Hiding From You.

And here's what I wrote in my Face Book post earlier this week:

Awareness Alert!

I just met someone who has a genetic condition called neurofibromatosis (he looked like the pic of the man below). I can only imagine what life is like for him on a daily basis. I have been hiding my face from the world because of this one lump (which I can camouflage with my hair). He cannot hide and yet he works as a barista at SBUX where hundreds (prob 1000s) of people will see him every day.

 

I've been comparing myself to others - the beauties I see and quietly wish I was more like PHYSICALLY (which includes old photos of myself, btw). But the reality is I AM NOT THEM and I will never be.

I walked away from that coffee joint feeling compassion for that dude and disappointment in myself.

The truth is I currently have a tumor and my judgement of it and my physical appearance is the number one reason I haven't been living my life to its absolute fullest. And as much as I can extend compassion and suspend my judgement of others.... I haven't granted MYSELF that same kindness.

That's what I find disappointing.

A dear friend said to me 2 days ago "Colette, when you come out of hiding and let the world see you, you will have more (love, money, opportunities, etc) than you can handle."

The experience of lack (of love, money, sex, travel) has been prevalent for a while... The awareness I received today from simply buying espresso from that guy at the coffee shop is a huge fucking eye opener for me.

This tumor may grow or shrink or get surgically removed one day. Just like my face will get wrinkles and my tits will sag one day. The thing about that is: SO FUCKING WHAT!

I'm done letting AN IDEA of what I should look like keep me from showing my face (which is representative of SHOWING UP for myself) to the world. I've got something to say and share and it I KNOW it will positively impact the lives of women (and men) everywhere.

So I guess this turned out to be some sort of declaration. (totally unintended 😳) and to the guy at SBUX w neurofibromatosis: THANK YOU for being a mirror for this gal.

I welcome the opportunity to support you... to be a mirror for you.  If you have a challenge you'd like to move past, take advantage of my 30-minute complimentary Clarify & Connect call. Just click the button to schedule.

XOXO, Colette

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colette davenport

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

Confessions of a Sex Coach (video 5)

Call me crazy!  In today's video I reveal the voices I'm hearing and what I'm doing about it.

Click on image to watch video

Ok. Ok. I'm taking a little liberty calling that a confession.  There are a lot of people who talk with their guides in a meditative state.  

I'm not always going to be sharing something dark and vulnerable with you guys. I need to be able to express playfulness, too, when that's the space I'm in.  

What there is to get here is that I'm consciously choosing to work on myself and display this journey publicly.  So there's gonna be all kinds of stuff involved in this.

Today, I'm sharing that my meditation put me in contact with my Guiding Goddesses. (side note: I just Googled "Guiding Goddess" and it's some chick selling waist trainers... That's not what I'm referring to here.)

My Guides respond to the open-ended questions I relay in an effort to align with the best version of myself. The message I'm getting now is one of healing. Heck, they always are, this time I'm just more receptive to hearing it.

If you read my last post, you'll recall that I've been spending some time in an introspective state.  One of the things I'm noticing is how I expect the introspection to sort of hurry up and give me what I need and come to a conclusion so I can get to DOING it already!  And by doing it, I mean creating the Big, Bold, Badass life I envision for myself. ;-)

The introspective phase is lasting longer than I want it to and I'm learning to be cool with it.

I imagine I will hit the ground running when I've gotten all there is to get here.  I look forward to consistently implementing the actions that come from the awareness and insight I'm allowing to surface.  And I'm practicing patience in the meantime.

It's like I'm "taking a vacation" from the previous perception I held about HOW I should be building my business and manifesting my vision.  Who knows, it may be a permanent vacay.

Maybe that's what there is to let go of... a perception of HOW things should go.  I can recall the ways in which I have thought healing would occur for me.  Seriously, I have tried more than a dozen methods that I thought were the answer.  What if instead of focusing on HOW, I focused on WHAT I intend?  What if this sorts out all the details for me?

In other words, if I focus on the result I'm intending -- the experience of being healed, then any choices there are to make become obvious.

That sounds like a useful motivator to me.  We'll see how it goes.

Here's an update on my status based on my commitments and strategy:

  • Writing 5 days a week-- it's more like 4 days/week (maybe this is my sweet spot?)
  • Create/Send pitches, articles, etc-- I haven't done this in 2 weeks.
  • Exercise 3+ days/week with a friend-- I have slacked off on this. Picking back up tomorrow!
  • Saving $20/week-- I've a new plan for being debt free with $$ in the bank--sell my investment property!
  • Saturday is pleasure-day-- I'm organizing the environment to support this.
  • Sunday is set myself up for success-day-- Not consistently... there's room for improvement.
  • 100% aware of the old pattern-- I am stepping into responsibility more now than ever!
  • On track for being in alignment with my vision by 12/31/15-- HELL YES...even with the "pause for introspection"!


 

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colette davenport

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

My Vision

I envision a world where a DEEP UNDERSTANDING of our human nature allows us to open up to ourselves and others with EASE.  We connect to the GREAT LOVE that encourages us to tune into our masculine and feminine energies, LETTING GO at once of judgement and expectation, and we AUTHENTICALLY APPRECIATE the strength, beauty, sensuality, creativity, and INSANE FUCKING HARMONY of our breath, body, mind, and spirit.
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colette davenport

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport