Ring In the New Year Right!

I was reminded today that my job is to be a facilitator for the most powerful force there is, LOVE.

In honor of that and to support YOU experiencing self-love (while getting crystal clear so you can set yourself up for success in the new year) I am offering a $200 scholarship to the IGNITE program for the first 8 people who sign up.

The usual investment is only $497... 
However, enrolling by Sunday, January 3rd gets you 4 weeks of coaching for less than $300!!

Isn't it time you decided to GET CLEAR and TAKE FOCUSED ACTION in the very first month of the new year...so you don't repeat the shit storm that was 2015?

http://www.colettedavenport.com/ignite

In 4 Short Weeks You Will:

  • Create a COMPELLING and achievable vision for your {love} life
  • Reveal the top 3 barriers to your most FULFILLING {love} life
  • Establish a FUN & EFFECTIVE plan-of-action filled with ideas, tips, and tools to have your vision become a reality in no time
  • Learn the SECRETS to strengthen your “love muscles” (it’s not what it sounds like :-)
  • Get LIVELY support to help make the power up process EASY ...and 
  • IGNITE the flame within your heart & soul magnetizing the LOVE you desire…”like a moth to a flame”

BONUS: You'll also get my exclusive 3P Planner: a strategy with ideas, tips, and tools to power up passion, pleasure, and play.

P.S. this is a 4-week strategy program that works for your love life AND/OR your health, your career & your finances. Pick the one that's most out of alignment and let's get you back on track!

P.S.S. SHARE this post ... You know you're not the only one of your friends who need some re-organizing. They will thank you (and the world will be a better place).

‪#‎AMPLOVEFY‬

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colette davenport

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

Confessions of a Sex Coach (video 1)

What I'm about to reveal to you is one of my deepest, darkest secrets (kinda).  

Through my personal growth and development I've come to the conclusion that the number one reason that we as human beings struggle and stress is: WE ARE OUT OF INTEGRITY.  Is it really that simple?  Yep.  But it's not easy to stay in or return to integrity when ya don't know where the misalignment lies.

I have the fortune of being supported (and challenged) by a great coach AND inner circle of friends who honor my intention to expand my capacity as a human being and "never stop growing". AND I STILL GET OUTTA WHACK!  But when the light finally shines on where I'm out of integrity and I see how it impacts my life and the lives of the people I love, my only job is to re-align and restore it.  

My confessions are the first step in coming clean with myself and the world.  I am doing this to vocalize the misalignment and expose myself (because I am so not perfect!) and then share my process for re-aligning with what matters most.  I imagine I'm not the only one who harbors the kinds of secrets I am about to reveal...and if through this public display of personal growth someone else is inspired to grow, then I have honored one of my biggest values: service.

Since I'm inviting others to trust me and my coaching process... promising to amplify passion, pleasure, and play in the {love} lives of women everywhere... I damn sure better be a living example of what that looks like.  The following represents my commitment to that...and to calling myself out when I'm not. 

Click on photo to watch the video

Now that you've watched the video.  I'm going to outline my process for manifesting the vision.  

Step 1: TUNE IN 

Here's WHAT'S SO (or the issue as I see it).  My life in reality looks nothing like the one in my imagination/vision.  Check it out...

  • I suck at being consistent -- with exercise, clean eating, paying down debt, writing, etc.  
  • I've never actually had a bonafied business before and I'm not sure I can hack it as an entrepreneur.
  • Inner conflict #1: I want help/support with the day-to-day and I feel like I have to do it all myself. 
  • Inner conflict #2: I want to speak/present to large audiences and I'm scared shitless to be seen. 
  • I haven't had sex in months. (how's that for a confession?)  

In my vision, however, I aspire to be someone who is sexy, lean, and strong as a result of consistent healthy choices.  I can see myself debt free and able to build my dream home while contributing resources to others in need. I can also feel what it would be like to have a full practice and be known as a Big, Bold, Badass Entrepreneurial Goddess elevating other 3B.E.Gs like myself.  I imagine being supported by a rock-star team who schedules all my appointments, including the paid presentations/talks I confidently give on a regular basis.  Oh, and I have a sex life that is expansive, energizing, and honors all my desires to explore the intimate and sexual potential of my relationship and body.

As you can see there's a discrepancy between who I intend to be and who I'm ACTUALLY being, what I'm ACTUALLY doing, and what I ACTUALLY have as a result.

Tweet: INTEGRITY is the alignment between one's calling /commitments and their actions. INTEGRITY is the alignment between one's calling /commitments and their actions.

Since I'm called and committed to being the person in my vision, I will explore what is out of alignment. This is important to me for three reasons.

  1. I believe everyone deserves both a super successful professional life and an extremely satisfying personal life.
  2. I know that the kind of work I'm here to do requires me to be a leader, and leadership does not exist in mediocrity. 
  3. When I am living with integrity, manifesting my vision and being the person I am capable of being, I feel fucking AMAZING.

So the next thing to consider is, "What are the environments, patterns, and habits that contribute to the current misalignment?"

Step 2: TURN ON

Having painted a picture of what I intend my life to look like, my vision, now I'll look at the structures, or externals, in place that need to be revamped.

Tweet: Guiding Structure means the structure of your Environment is the largest determinant of your behavior. Guiding Structure means the structure of your Environment is the largest determinant of your behavior.

Q: If I am inconsistent with exercise and healthy food choices, what can I do to make those choices easier?  

A: Work out with a partner for a more interesting and inspiring environment. Shop regularly and pre-make heat-and-eat meals to have healthy choices in my environment.  Reward myself with something fun like a summer dress or an indulgent meal at Uchi once a month for remaining consistent (because pretty dresses and sushi make the environment a thousand times better).

Q: What do I need to create so that I can effortlessly contribute a percentage of my monthly revenue to debt (and then savings)?

A: A steel trap that would eat my hand off if I tried to withdraw dolla bills, yo! (kidding, no I'm not)  Clearly, I have not worked out the environment that supports my intention.  I could use your help here.  What are your tricks for putting a percentage of your income away? (comment below, please!)

Q: What gets in the way of my writing every week?

A: To-do's and social media and email, and ...  The truth is I am not honoring my sacred practice, which for me is writing.  Crazy thing is, I actually have a room in my home AND an office that are perfect environments for this...so... I am recommitting to writing.  (on that note, there are other practices that are sacred, meditation, yoga, and being in nature...and I haven't been honoring them either.  That ends NOW.)

Q: What about my intimate relationship am I tolerating?

A: Oh, man. This is the sensitive stuff.  I feel like it's the BIG ONE, though.  I suspect this is the bulls eye.  This is the most dis-jointed aspect of my life that impacts all the others. The lack of my FULL self-expression in this area is what makes me feel like a fraud.  I'm a sex coach for fuck's sake!

Ok.  Here goes.  I'm tolerating the excuses of lack of time and energy and confidence and focus and finances and being in the mood and businesses to build and BULLSHIT like that. I'm tolerating an intimate relationship with a man where we are disconnected, dissatisfied and dis-eased.  I'm tolerating an unhealthy co-dependent relationship. Crap.  (big exhale)

I have to admit, confessing that feels really good.

So what is there to DO about it?  Well, I could leave.  End the relationship...trust me I've thought about it. A lot. Or I could recommit to creating a thriving intimate AND SEXUAL relationship with my guy. I know option B takes work.  I know I have to be willing to release resentment.  I know I have to SEE HIM differently.  I know I have to grow to achieve that goal. I know I have to communicate this in a way that engages him (rather than demeans or degrades him). I know I am capable of all of this and that it's what I really truly want.  

Ya know what else I know?  THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT PEOPLE COME TO ME FOR HELP WITH. 

Huh.  Coincidence?  Doubtful.

I can see the absolute relevance of what I'm experiencing and how going through it will only deepen my empathy and strengthen my ability to serve others through the manifestation of the vision.

Kinda cool if you look at it that way.

Now for the internals.  What thoughts or beliefs are holding me back from manifesting my vision?

Here's where I look at the inner conflicts for clues.  What does the thought, "I have to do it all myself" keep me from?  What is it about being seen that I'm afraid of?  What do I think I'll have to sacrifice to be a successful entrepreneur?  What do I believe that causes me to tolerate a sub-satisfactory love & sex life?

The answers are probably obvious to you...but this is where I encounter my blind spots. This is where getting coaching is so freaking powerful. (note to self: get coaching on this in the next session)

Good news!  My coaching session was super productive and revealed this: I resist being RESPONSIBLE.  

Being a leader, being successful, being an employer, being on stage or in the public eye, being the woman in my vision (who is fully self-expressed sexually, among other things) requires a higher level of responsibility than I have ever taken for my life.  That shit is scary!

To actually live in alignment with my vision, to be 100% in integrity I must be willing to be FULLY RESPONSIBLE for all that comes with it.  All of it.  

Now I see why I wasn't stepping effortlessly into the (badass Brian Atwood) shoes of the woman in my vision.

Part of my strategy, then, includes noticing when the fear of responsibility stops me from taking action.  Checking that old hag of a pattern when she shows up to drag me down will be an ongoing practice fo sho!

Step 3: ACTIVATE

Time to talk strategy.  The "type A" folks out there will love this stuff.  This is the HOW I get from where I'm at to where I want to be (remember that sexy, sophisticated, and successful woman in my vision?).

What better way to appease your organizational brain then to articulate my strategy with an infographic!

 

Step 4: MANIFEST

This is the final step in the process of transformation. I do, however, have to point out that it's not a hard-line finish.  One's personal development is not a fast food, impulse buy, "set it and forget it" thing. What I mean by that is once a goal is reached or a vision manifest, one of two things happen.  

One: A new vision/goal is created, enhancing the current one, and the process begins again.

Two: The need for maintenance and ongoing check-ins with the process have the manifested vision remain intact.

Since I've set the timer to ding in 6 months, I will ask the specific question, "Does my life reflect my vision?" And along the way, let's say every 10 days or so, I will check in to see if I am in integrity.  That is, "Are my actions in alignment with my commitments/calling?"

What it boils down to is: I am doing my AMPLOVEFY Custom Coaching Program, and leveraging the sessions I have with with my coach, Alicia Marie.  What you can expect from me are video "confessions" on the 10th, 20th and 30th of every month and accompanying blog updates (like this one) with a break down of my strategies and such.

Let me just be totally transparent.  I don't know how this will turn out and I am committed to doing it anyway.  I believe so strongly in the coaching process and my programs that I am willing to put myself on public display.  

This work matters to me so much and I want to manifest the vision so freaking bad that I am willing to stand "naked" in front of everyone and reveal my deepest darkest secrets in order to bring light to the areas that keep me from being the Big, Bold, Badass version of myself.

I do this not because I'm an exhibitionist (ok, maybe I do like being in front of the camera) but because I believe there are other women out there, like me, who will benefit from this in some positive way.  

When I got hip to my purpose and potential, I made it my profession to amplify passion, pleasure, and play in the {love} lives of women everywhere... and now I intend to lead by example.  Simple as that.

Stay tuned for more...

 

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colette davenport

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

Waiting -- As If Tomorrow Will Always Come

Less than 24 hours ago I realized (with the help of my coach) that I have been WAITING for my life to get started...to get good.  What I want to experience: A strong, lean, balanced body...A passionate and playful love life with a man I'm excited to be with...A thriving multi-million dollar business with a world-wide reputation for delivering transformational results...A beautiful custom built modern home filled with friends and family...A ton of travel to places all over the world for work and play--that is, the VISION I have for my life at this stage --  I've been imagining but not acting on.  Or rather, not acting BOLDLY and CONSISTENTLY on.

Bold and consistent action.  This is my new mantra.  Sure, I could keep doing what I've been doing, mostly imagining--with sprinkles of action all tinted by a lack of confidence and a subconscious belief that what I want will never actually happen.  But then in a year or two when I've only progressed to the point of where I could've been in only a few short months (if I were taking bold and consistent action), I'll be frustrated and depressed that my life doesn't look the way I want it to.  Kinda like now.  

NO THANKS!

I want a BIG, BOLD, BADASS life.  One full of passion and meaning and contribution and travel and play and PEOPLE -- to work with, to play with, to grow with.

In coaching, my small, safe, boring bubble gets burst over and over again.  Sometimes that happens gently, and other times it's with a resounding BANG -- yesterday's coaching session was a big bang for me.

I fucking love you, Alicia Marie!  I am by far the best version of myself when I'm in coaching (and yes, I just keep getting better and better ;-).  My confidence has been amplified, this level of clarity makes everything, most importantly what actions to take, OBVIOUS.  As in: OF COURSE I should be working primarily with women, OF COURSE I need to be writing and sharing these observations all the time, OF COURSE I need to be on stage speaking to groups (dare I say large audiences?) of women.  

It's these things: clarity, confidence, and bold and consistent actions that will have me living IN my vision rather than imagining it as though its a far away galaxy to be dreamed about.

My vision of being a best-selling author, engaging speaker, and extraordinary coach with a thriving multi-million dollar business that has a world-wide reputation for delivering transformational results...and...my mission to elevate passion, pleasure, and play in the bedrooms of people everywhere by cultivating and supporting integrity, harmony, and vitality in each of us...may seem lofty (at the moment). But I'm super excited because I've got a badass coach who is committed to me manifesting that reality and an extraordinary support system (my tribe, you know who you are) keeping me accountable to it.  

I encourage every other woman (who's ready) to feel confident, powerful...big, bold, and badass in business and in the bedroom!

THIS is my focus.  My commitment.   My purpose.  It's what I'm here to do...starting with MYSELF.  Get ready to see and feel the energy IGNITE and ELECTRIFY anyone who's around me. 

No more small, safe, and boring from me...and whoever else is ready to be done with that shit -- let me know...I got something for ya!

xoxo--cd


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colette davenport

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

13 Photos to Get You in the Mood

I have a vision board for my intended travels, dream home, and physique.  I thought it might be fun to create one for my ideal sex life, too.  Enjoy these images...and let them inspire you to 'Sext' your lover about what you have in mind for later!

 

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colette davenport

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

Feel It to Be It

I'm reading a book called "The Divine Matrix" by Gregg Braden. In it, the author explains how emotions(FEELINGS) are the language of the matrix and prayer is how we express our intentions to the Universe. What struck me anew was this: When we ASK for something (in prayer, perhaps) or talk with each other about how we WANT something or we're WORKING TOWARD something we're still FEELING as though we are not yet that something or we don't have it, whatever "it" is. The key is to FEEL as though you ALREADY ARE whatever, that you HAVE SUCCEEDED in reaching your goal. This is what world class athletes do. This is what those who've spontaneously healed did. When we truly 'get' the POWER we have to heal and/or manifest something we also experience less anxiety around the NEED to do so. We find compassion and love for who/how/what we are and have in this world. And while in a state of peace (vs anxiety) we cultivate the FEELINGS of victory, achievement, success, health, love, etc. Which is very different than feeling compelled by Ego (fear based) to change.

Also, when an intention to manifest something is based in Ego, that desire will not be recognized by the Universe (matrix), and thus will not manifest.

What does this (new?) information do for you? How might you shift your intentions and goals knowing this universal principle? Might you start imagining what it would FEEL like to be/do/have what ever you want to create? 

I know I am. Every day when I practice Chi-Lel qigong ( http://www.chilel.com/) I see my neck as normal. I FEEL the joy and playful silliness that has been missing from my personality these last few years. That feeling is really fabulous! I FEEL energy moving though me where it once was stagnant. So cool! I also visualize the home and LIFE that Matt Bennett and I are manifesting. I FEEL enormous love and connection to my guy and to the people in our lives. This, my friends, is the motivation for creating our dream space and ideal lives. To SHARE the love, joy, playful, silly, relaxing, and fun experiences with others.

I guess I could just summarize by saying "Life is Beautiful". Believe it. FEEL it and you will SEE it in your life.

cd

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colette davenport

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport

Manifesting Your Vision

Certainty.  Language.  Clarity.  Emotion.  Energy.  Detachment.  Gratitude.

CERTAINTY
This is THE KEY for manifesting one's intention or vision. You must be certain it is what you desire from the depth of your heart.  Ask your Higher Self (Spirit) if being-doing-having what your mind (your "character") thinks you desire is TRUE for YOU.  Meditate and ask the question - a clearly formed, to the point, yes-or-no question.  Then listen, feel, or "look" for the answer while your mind is empty, you are not distracted, and your body is at ease.  Breathe deeply and TRUST that your heart (where Spirit resides) knows what's right for you.  Accept the answer.

LANGUAGE
The words one uses to state their intentions is VERY important as the Universe will give you EXACTLY what you ask for.  For example, if you are not 100% certain in your heart that you desire a particular thing - you will continue to have the experience of getting close then falling short...as though the thing is just out of reach.  So be certain then create an intention that is precise.  Use direct, non-vague phrases.  Use emotion.  For instance, if you desire to LIVE happily in Austin, don't say "I intend to BE in Austin..." and if your intention has a date or other time reference attached to it, state it.  Example: "I intend to live filled with extreme joy and abundance in my dream home in Austin, TX on or before November 2014 ."

CLARITY
Once you're certain of your desires and intentions and have declared them in such a way that the Universe will know exactly what to do, then you can clearly create what it looks/feels/sounds/smells/tastes like to be-do-have them.  Create a mental image of yourself already living out your dreams.  Again meditate - give yourself the time and space to be still mentally and physically.  Breathe deeply, connect to the universal life force within and all around you.  As you take a deep breath in and let it out, allow the image of where you intend to be begin to form around you.  With your eyes closed, see your environment as though you are looking at it in front of you- to the right is... And to the left... Under foot or over head... Listen to the sounds, smell the aromas.  BE in your environment, don't "watch it on a screen".  Place yourself totally there - what do you feel in this environment?  Move.  Walk from one room to the next.  Look in a mirror.  Or if you're outside, are there animals?  Birds?  What is the weather?  Temperature? Are you alone or is someone with you?  Don't get caught up in a conversation with them.  See them fully, acknowledge them, and then take a deep breath.   

ENERGY & EMOTION
How do you desire to BE?  Happy? Healthy?  Wealthy?  Passionate?  State that in your intention. Feel that in your visualization.  Appreciate the health, joy, abundant love and prosperity you are experiencing in your vision.  Cultivate those feelings as you meditate.  Give your intentions the positive energy and love that are essential for creation, for manifestation, for LIFE.  Also, be mindful of the mind's desire to "move away from fear/pain" and a scarcity/lack attitude. We sometimes subconsciously, due to conditioning, create intentions from these (negative energy) desires.  Meaning, look out for the buried "fear of losing something, or pain of failure" as reasons for your intentions.  Move  toward light, love, and abundance.

DETACHMENT
You must surrender your intentions and desires to the Universal "cosmic" Intelligence.  The force that causes a mighty oak to manifest from tiny acorn is the ultimate miracle worker.  Your declaration to Be-Do-Have something, if certain, clearly stated & visualized with emotion and energy will be received by the universal heart/mind. And if it's aligned with the intention of that Great Wisdom it will be realized.  However, if you are so attached to that thing that you FEAR  NOT being/doing/having...THIS CREATES NEGATIVE ENERGY WHICH IS NOT RESPONDED TO OR REWARDED.  So intend, visualize, and let go.  All that happens, happens for the purpose of our growth.

GRATITUDE
Finally, be thankful.  Thankful for the opportunity to express yourself, Thankful for all the experiences you've already had and those yet to come.  Be thankful for having already manifested into the being YOU ARE.  And say a deep heart-felt thanks for the manifesting of your vision as though it has already been set in motion...Because it HAS!!!!

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colette davenport

Colette Davenport helps healers, empaths, and creatives get their magic back. By ending their secret addictions and self-sabotage, clients gain the clarity, confidence, and direction to take their lives to a whole other dimension. Colette is an international coach and speaker, a published author, and the founder of Badass Empath Academy, the school for gifted people.

“Over the course of 25 years, I've had the honor of helping people heal themselves of chronic illness, reestablish intimacy in sexless marriages, turn struggling businesses into profit-generating ones, and leave the 'safe' job (or relationship) they loathed for a life they LOVED. This is my calling.” — Colette Davenport